Found 1507 results

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1.4s
Than falling...

Ted

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31.9s
Why the fuck would he say that? Sorry, you really shouldn't swear in front of children. Look, we're very interested in the bear. If you want to make some sort of arrangement here's my address and phone number. And you can call me any time, okay? Will do. Here it goes, in the really important pocket for really important stuff. Okay? Okay. Okay. See you later. Come on, Robert. TED: Take it easy. What the fuck? Can you imagine what that little shit would do to me? I could totally see him just taking you down to the basement and really slowly de-limbing you while singing some creepy Victorian nursery rhyme.

Ted

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NARRATOR: But through all the fame, Teddy never forgot his very best friend, John. The thunder can't get us, right? Nope, we're thunder buddies, and the thunder knows it. We're totally safe. (THUNDER RUMBLING)

Ted

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Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.

Ted

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Hug me. (SCREAMS) You're my best friend, John.

Ted

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(HONKING)

Ted

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Teddy?

Ted

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Mom, Dad, guess what? My teddy bear's alive! (CHUCKLES) Really? Well, isn't that exciting. No, Mom, he's really alive. Look.

Ted

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Listen, John and I may have our problems, but at least he tried.

Ted

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Teddy?

Ted

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Ah!

Ted

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So bad, but so good. (COUGHS) Hey, by the way, don't let me forget, you and I got to nail down a plan for the Bruins game tomorrow night. No, I can't. I'm taking Lori to dinner. For what? Well, we've been dating four years tomorrow. Oh, fuck me. Nice.

Ted

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A-E-I-O-U See? There, proof. Garfield's eyes look like a pair of tits. You were right. If you can punch through this wall, you really are Flash Gordon. Are you going to do it? I'm going to punch through it. Come on, Sam, do it! Do it!

Ted

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Well, here I am. You mean, we get to be best friends for real? For real. Forever and ever?

Ted

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(SCREAMING) (DISHES SHATTERING) Jesus H. Fuck!

Ted

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(TED GRUNTING)

Ted

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Wait a second.

Ted

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It's a Christmas miracle.

Ted