Found 1507 results

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2.5s
I'm not going to try to get you to take me back.

Ted

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1.7s
I don't know if I can drive!

Ted

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1.2s
Hey.

Ted

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16.2s
A-E-I-O-U See? There, proof. Garfield's eyes look like a pair of tits. You were right. If you can punch through this wall, you really are Flash Gordon. Are you going to do it? I'm going to punch through it. Come on, Sam, do it! Do it!

Ted

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7.8s
Well, here I am. You mean, we get to be best friends for real? For real. Forever and ever?

Ted

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2.4s
(SCREAMING) (DISHES SHATTERING) Jesus H. Fuck!

Ted

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1.3s
(TED GRUNTING)

Ted

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1.2s
Wait a second.

Ted

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2.7s
It's a Christmas miracle.

Ted

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1.2s
(LAUGHING)

Ted

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8.5s
And I want you to know that, after last night I don't ever want to lose anyone who matters to me ever again. I'm not going to wait any longer for my life to start.

Ted

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4.9s
You know, this place looks great. Thanks, man, it's all IKEA. Did the whole place for $47.

Ted

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6s
What? Do you know what just happened? Do you have any clue? My fucking life just ended!

Ted

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4.9s
Trust me, I can do this. Shut up. Let him try it, man. All right, fuck it.

Ted

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3.4s
No. That's a weird fucking question. No, just start counting.

Ted

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3.2s
I just farted. That was a man fart. (GIGGLES)

Ted

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2.7s
Thunder buddies for life.

Ted

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1.2s
(SIGHS)

Ted