Found 1507 results

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3.2s
And plus, after seeing your laptop, I didn't think you had any left.

Ted 2

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Hey! Um, are you, uh, Tom Brady?

Ted 2

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Take the damn raincoat off. It's making too much noise. Piss off! I don't wanna get anyjizz on me!

Ted 2

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And that, in the eyes of the world, I'll always be property.

Ted 2

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TED: It was him! The guy dressed like the Ninja Turtle!

Ted 2

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Get off me!

Ted 2

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Yeah, can I help you?

Ted 2

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1.6s
(SOFTLY) Just calm down.

Ted 2

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Two League MVPs, four Super Bowl rings, guaranteed first ballot Hall of Famer. Now let's give him a handjob into this red Solo cup. (WHISPERS) All right. Go ahead. Wait, what do you mean, "Go ahead"? You got to do it.

Ted 2

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7.4s
Yeah, I want it! You know I want it, but I'm nervous. What if he doesn't like the way I'm doing it? He deserves the best! Pull yourself together, for God's sakes. He's gonna love it. Go, go, go!

Ted 2

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As much as anybody I've ever known. Sam, that means the world coming from someone who went to Arizona State.

Ted 2

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But you know what? Who gives a shit? Right? It doesn't matter what the world calls me. I know who I am.

Ted 2

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6.3s
Which one? All right, two can play this Where's Waldo shit, you son of a bitch! Sam, give me your phone.

Ted 2

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22.2s
Holy shit! Johnny! Oh, my God. John! Johnny! John! Oh,Jesus! Are you okay? Johnny, you all right? Shit. John, hey. Oh, my God. Jesus, what happened here? The rocket ship just hit him! Jesus Christ, that's the starship Enterprise... Forget it. Somebody call 911! Johnny? John, come on, stay with me, pal. We need an ambulance at 655 West 34th. HOW the hell did it fall? I don't know!

Ted 2

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And I know who my friends are.

Ted 2

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Oh.

Ted 2

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What a prick!

Ted 2

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8.4s
Jeez, I wonder who this place belongs to. Maybe we should find someplace else. (PLAYS GUITAR) We're in the middle of nowhere. If we get out of here by dawn, we should be fine, right?

Ted 2