TED: Hey, buddy. You okay, there? You look a little down. Are you still shaking off that hangover from the bachelor party? Oh! That's nice. Oh, my God. She's fucking begging for it! (LAUGHS) She's totally begging. Get it. Get in there. Look at her. She wants it bad! JOHN: Oh, yeah. She wants more than just a fucking pizza delivery, huh? (MEN LAUGHING) TED: That's bigger than the average bear right there, I tell you. JOHN: You know what's fucked up? Dude, that's somebody's fucking daughter! MAN: Oh, shit! Jesus! Come on!
Ted 2
8.2s
I mean, everything seemed like it was gonna be so perfect. Yeah. Well, you're not the first guy to marry the wrong girl. Hey, hey! Big day, huh, bud?
Ted 2
1.5s
(ALL CHEERING)
Ted 2
1.4s
(SIGHS)
Ted 2
13s
Okay? And... And I don't want us to fight like we've been doing the past few months. I don't know, Teddy. Something's got to change, you know? Because I can't do this no more. It's too much. I know, I know, I know. And... And that's why...
Ted 2
2.9s
And, uh, I won't be followed?
Ted 2
1.4s
Hey.
Ted 2
1.9s
What defines property?
Ted 2
42s
Oh, my God! He said he'll meet with us on Friday at 9:00 a.m. at his office in New York. Is he gonna take the case? I don't want to jinx it, but I think so. Oh, my God! You hear that, Johnny? (LAUGHS) I still get a shot! JOHN: Yes! Oh, my God! We got to celebrate! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Let's go down to the improv and yell sad suggestions? Fuck yeah! So first we need a historical event. Who's got an event? TED: 9/11. (STUTTERS) Okay, maybe something else. All right, let's start with a person. JOHN: Robin Williams! Okay, all right, for real, guys, for real. Who's got a person? TED: Robin Williams on 9/11. All right, we've heard from these guys. Let's maybe give somebody else over here a chance. How about a location? Let's go with a location. TED: The offices of Charlie Hebdo.
Ted 2
9s
You're very lucky. I saw what you did on TV. Yeah, he saved my ass is what he did. You know why? Because he's a person.
Ted 2
2.5s
Uh, I was able to sniff that out, yeah.
Ted 2
1.4s
(CRACKLING)
Ted 2
1.8s
What's the difference?
Ted 2
10.5s
What? Why not? Well, first of all, there's the question of Tami-Lynn's drug conviction. Hey, I did my community service. Yeah, besides, that was five years ago. She's clean.
Ted 2
1.7s
Who's that buttnut over there?
Ted 2
3.4s
Uh, no, that's... That's not in our budget here.
Ted 2
1.2s
I'm busy.
Ted 2
4.9s
What do you wanna do now? You don't deserve him, John. You never did. You never did!