Thanks, uh, Heather, right? Yeah. So, you've got this sort of Frank Sinatra thing going on. Right. I feel like I've discovered this whole new side of me. I mean, uh, music is so expressive. Okay. I mean, I agree, but... aren't you supposed to be out, like, trying to decapitate someone... - with your lacrosse stick or something? - Oh, sure. Sure. You know, I know what people think. It's like, "Oz, he's just this kick-ass lacrosse player." You know, I also play football, by the way, but that's, like, - that's not all that I am, you know? - Of course, I didn't... I mean, it really bothers me when people try to pigeonhole me like that. You? You think I don't get that? God, it's like just because I don't get drunk and barf every weekend... that people say, "Oh, look. There's this Goody Two-Shoes choirgirl priss." Yeah. So, like, what else do you do? Well, the same things you do, like hang out with friends and stuff. - Why? What do you think I do? - Oh, I... I just realized that I don't know anything about you. - I was interested. - Oh, well, what do you want to know? You know, stuff... about you.
American Pie
4.9s
I think I should. Allow me.
American Pie
35.7s
- # If you believe in magic # - # Ooh, magic # # Don't you bother to choose if it's jug band music or rhythm and blues # # Just go and listen It will start with a smile # # That won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try # # Your feet start tappin' and you can't seem to find how you got there # # Do you believe in magic ## # Scooby-dooby doo bah scoo-scooby-dooby dooby-dooby doo bah # # Yeah, magic ## What was that? - Uh, sorry. - No, it was good.
American Pie
6.2s
- I cannot believe this. - Come on, guys. You know, we should be happy for Sherman.
American Pie
59.9s
# As you walk up those steps and garner your award # # Try not to forget about me # # 'Cause I was there when you had no one else to hold # # You used to look just like a saint # # And stumble into walls # # You're a guy's very own quarantine # # You used to never think you'd ever grow old ## You must be excited about the big night tonight. Thrilled. Who's the lucky girl? Who's the lucky girl? Michelle. - Michelle. - Yeah. - She must be very special. - Oh, she's special, all right. I'm sure she is special if you picked her out of the whole bunch.
American Pie
34.6s
- See you at dinner. - Uh, yeah. I'll see you at dinner. So, Finch, this is your plan? You know, I don't think girls are into the whole mini-golf thing. Kevin, I'm sure that they're not. Actually, there is one small matter that I need to ask for your cooperation in. - In the spirit of this whole pact, you know? - Sure, what do you need? Whatever you hear about me, you agree. And tell all the boys the same thing. Look, I gotta go. Sixteen minutes round-trip. You know, Finch, it's... it's senior year. I mean, don't you think it's time you learned how to take a dump at school? When was the last time you looked at the facilities in this school?
American Pie
4.6s
You know it's a bitchin' party. The Stif-man always comes through in the clutch.
American Pie
5.2s
Thank you, Great Falls. We're gonna take a little break. You are beautiful.
American Pie
5.6s
- This is disgusting. - What the fuck is this?
American Pie
4.6s
And, uh, I care about you a lot.
American Pie
4.5s
Okay, Dad. - Promise me. - I promise.
American Pie
11.3s
I don't know. How do you? Like... normal style. The missionary position. Okay.
American Pie
1m19s
# Till the evenin' ends ## All right, status check. Where do you guys stand? Finch, we know where you are, but can't really use that as an excuse. Jim? Uh, my date's a flute-toting band dork. Does that answer your question? Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit gonna pay off or what? Kevin, what's with the attitude? Attitude? Me? I think you guys should be a little more enthusiastic. This is the night we've been waiting for. We're in this together. You guys can't back out. Kev, you don't need us to get laid. Are you afraid or something? No. Come on. We made a pact. You can't break that. You guys are gonna have to... Have to what, Kev, huh? I don't have to do shit. Forget it already. I am so sick and tired of all this bullshit pressure. I've never even had sex, and already, I can't stand it. I hate sex! And I'm not gonna stand around here busting my balls over something that, quite frankly, isn't that damn important. I'm gonna go hang out with that geek over there... 'cause at least she has something else to talk about besides sex. Goddamn.
American Pie
1m6s
- # Calling your name # - Uh... - # Calling # - Oh. # Your name ## Jim? - Oh! Oh, no. - Oh, no. - Oh. Ohh! - Liftoff aborted. Houston, we have a problem. What happened? What did he do He blew it. I guess I'll be going now. No, no, no, I'm... I'm not done, Nadia. I've, uh... I've got reserves. Nadia, please, please. I'm begging you. Well, I do like your dirty magazines. You do? Okay. Well. Um. Did-Did... Did you see this one? This here is your... is your more, uh, exotic, risque magazine. - He's pullin' out the porn. - He's desperate. Jim, just wait till she leaves. Very arousing women. They arouse me... They arouse me very, very much. But, uh... But not as arousing as you. - Oh, Jim! - Oh, God!
American Pie
10.8s
Jessica, this is great! - Felt sorta guilty about taking your money. - You spent $200 on this? No, I spent 50 on the flask, 150 on the earrings.
American Pie
1m1s
Dude, it's not like I haven't been trying to get laid. Think about when you work out, Oz. You gotta have someone there, right? Someone to spot you. Someone to keep you motivated. Well, that's exactly what we can do for each other. I mean, we'll be there to keep each other on track. Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together, we are the masters of our sexual destiny. Their tiger-style kung fu is strong. But our dragon-style will defeat it. - Guys! - The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite! - Fight, and find out who is number one. - Guys! Come on. You're ruining my moment here. This is our very manhood at stake. We must make a stand, here and now. No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be. This is our day. This is our time. And, by God, we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into celibacy. - Amen. Yes. - I like that. - We will make a stand. We will succeed. - 'Bout time! - We will get laid! - Yeah! - Yeah!