Bend your knees. Next time you spank it, sit Indian-style. You won't come, not in a million years. MAN: Our sex organs are like musical instruments. Sure, you can have any technician blow on your horn, but to place your instrument into the hands of a true expert? That, my young friend, is true harmony. NOAH: Guys don't talk to each other because they view each other as competitors, which I think is crazy. You know? Because men need to help each other and work together to get laid.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
20s
LUBE: Hey, can I ask you a question? Yeah, sure. Whatever. Why do you hook up with assholes like Scott Stifler anyway? Excuse me, but you don't know me. (SCOFFS) You know, you're just the same as all the rest. I'm just some sort of trophy to you. You don't care about me. You just wanna sleep with me, because you think it's some sort of status symbol. Sorry.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
6.4s
Okay, so I'm just gonna be honest with you. I'm just gonna lay it out on the line. No tricks, no hidden agenda at all.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
1.6s
What was that?
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
22.8s
We need to reconstruct the bible. Why? The secrets are in there. I mean, there's no one single answer to getting laid. Right? We need the whole book to understand. Probably has a lot of crap in there that we need to know, too, like positions, techniques, angle of insertion. Exactly. That's what the bible was created for, to help guys like us. And we owe it to the others. I ruined the bible.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
1s
Then speed her up.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
1.5s
Douche bag.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
5.8s
CHEERLEADERS: Blue and white... COMMENTATOR 1. Shearson's bringing the ball up court. He passes it off to Scott Stifler.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
1.9s
LUBE: This must be the guy who created the bible.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
1.9s
ROB: I'm ready to give up.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
2.8s
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) I am Monique.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
5.3s
I thought I had the answers. It's too bad that 99% of the bible's completely unreadable.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
1.8s
(POP SONG PLAYING)
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
1.7s
That means he wasn't being serious.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
5.4s
Hey. What's up, Ashley? What are you pillow biters doing here? Stifler.
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love
5.5s
I owe it to future generations to restore its wisdom. Dude, I'm all for it, but how?