- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?
American Pie
1m15s
So, uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me? - Yes, ma'am, I am. - # And here's to you # # Mrs. Robinson # # Jesus loves you more than you will know # # Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson # - Mmm, you're dead. - # God in heaven smiles on those who pray # # Hey, hey, hey # # Hey, hey, hey ## # Hey, hey, hey ## # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # And there's no cure # # And no way to be sure # # Why everything's turned inside out # # Instilling so much doubt # # It makes me so tired # # I feel so uninspired # # My head is battling with my heart # # My logic has been torn apart And now ## - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did I. Oh, Finchy. Finch. - Oh, Stifler's mom! - Finchy!
American Pie
28.7s
Excuse me, everyone. Sorry to interrupt. I just thought you all should know this. Chuck Sherman is a liar. I never had sex with him. He's never had sex with anyone. I know this because he told me. Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. Oh. He also told me that when he gets nervous, he sometimes wets his pants. Thank you for your time.
American Pie
25.8s
It's gonna be fun. You know it's just gonna be some crappy band and stupid decorations. You're just saying that because prom's a week away and you don't have a date. No, no, no. I don't want a date. Finch is goin' stag and... so am I. God, he's like so... refined. - You think that older woman thing is true? Yeah, it's true. It was Stifler's mom.
American Pie
8.9s
Victoria, I love you. I love you.
American Pie
3.6s
- I wanna have sex. - Now?
American Pie
3.9s
- Okay. - All right.
American Pie
8.8s
I got some scotch. - Single malt? - Aged 18 years. The way I like it.
American Pie
17.7s
Next year with you going to Ann Arbor... and me going to Ithaca, it's not gonna work, is it? No. Don't say that. I mean, we could make it work. - It'll be perfect. - No, Kevin.
American Pie
9.5s
All right. Listen, thanks for understanding. Yeah. So, uh, I guess I'll see you later?
American Pie
2.8s
It's your turn.
American Pie
3.4s
What's wrong?
American Pie
32.8s
Ow! Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. I don't want you coming so damn early this time. What makes you think that I would come early? Come on. I saw you on the 'Net. Why do you think I accepted this date? You're a sure thing. Yes, I am. So I said, "This is very obviously a Piero della Francesca."
American Pie
22.8s
Vicky, think it's time to take the next step in our relationship? - Tonight? - Yeah, it's such a perfect evening. I mean, it's how you've always pictured it, isn't it? Damn, my parts fuckin' stink! Dude, you gotta take a shit! You smell like a Yeti! Or not. Just relax.
American Pie
13.8s
- But... - See, that's what I've been realizing... is that... nothing's perfect. And you can't plan everything. Well, I guess... you will be pretty far away.
American Pie
7.9s
Okay, let's go. What's my name? Say my name, bitch! Michelle, Michelle.
American Pie
12s
Xenophobic. Oh! - Regurgitation. - I know that one.
American Pie
5s
Exactly. - Okay, Albert. You ready? - No problemo.