PHIL [ON VIDEO]: This is how you walk. This is how you walk. - Oh, it's Doug. - Oh, thank God he's alive. That's our buddy. That's who we've been missing. We're all best friends. Why don't you just pay attention? I don't have all night. Yeah, of course. Of course.
[TIGER ROARS] [ALAN AND PHIL GRUNT] PHIL: What the fuck?
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It says, uh, "Couldn't find a meter, but here's 4 bucks."
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- Oh, shit. ALAN: See? All right, let's go.
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- Okay. Whoa. Whoa. PHIL: Stu, Stu, Stu.
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- Of course he did. - You won. Yeah. Clearly. Yeah. That's victory, right there. ALAN: It needs to go down. - It's good. Get in. - No. Safety first. - Alan, it's fine. It's down. - No, I gotta get it down first. PHIL: Jesus Christ. Look out. - Don't mess the car up. You're gonna mess the car up. - Hey, what are you doing next weekend? - I don't know. Working. Why? I was thinking maybe I'd come back and take you out to dinner. Really? Like a date? Yeah. Like a date. Only, one that hopefully I'll remember.
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PHIL: What the fuck was that?
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Uh, no. Okay, kids, you're in for a real treat today. These gentlemen have kindly volunteered to demonstrate... ...how a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect. KIDS: Ooh! - That's right. - Wait a sec. What? Now, there's two ways to use a stun gun. Up close and personal. [SCREAMS] [LAUGHING] - What the fuck? - Or you can shoot it from a distance. Do I have any volunteers? You wanna come up here and do some shooting? Huh? All right, how about you, young lady? Come on up here. All right. Let's go, handsome, come on. Not you, fat Jesus, slide it on back. You, pretty boy.
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[STU GROANS] - Congratulations, Stu, you got married. - This... This can't be happening.
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- Perfect. Alan, come here, buddy. STU: Get in here, crazy.
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Shit! [PANTING]
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[SHUTTER CLICKS]
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Sounds good.
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[DOOR OPENS]
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Hey, guys, when's the next Halley's comet? - Who cares, man? - Do you know, Stu? I don't think it's for, like, another 60 years or something. - But it's not tonight, right? - No, I don't think so. But you don't know for sure? No. I got this cousin who saw one. He said it blew his mind. I wanna make sure I never, ever miss out on a Halley's Comet. So if you guys know if there's gonna be one... Oh, fuck! [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY & TIGER ROARING]