Found 571 results
55.9s
I think our boss just raped me. What? I don't know what happened. All a bit of a blur. There was hands and hair, and breath, and lips. There might have been other people, I don't know. Sounds like she wants you. Hey, man. Women have been all over me since we got crazy famous. Not to brag or anything, but I just gave Florence Henderson crabs. That is in no way a brag, Brian. That's horrible. Hey, it's just doing something beautiful, that two people do. Except one of them has microscopic dust mites - all over his penis and testicles. - I'm just saying, the mom of The Brady Bunch had a fun time with you, and then woke up the next day and realized she had crabs. I gave her a whole Brady Bunch of crabs. Sounds to me like it's her fault for being a randy gal. I have a date! Brick has a date? Good for Brick! What's a date? A date is simply when two people get together, do something social, have a few drinks, yadda-yadda-yadda... Take their shirts off...
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
34.3s
Good day, and welcome to GNN. Thank you for joining us on what we believe to be a whole new era of news. I'm Jack Lime, your guide for this journey of events we humbly call 24-hour news. Today's top story, Mount St. Helens. Oh, this is just a gimmick. It's a flash in the pan. We better hope so. Residents are being asked to evacuate the area... Twenty-four hours of news. How are they gonna keep coming up with this stuff? My guess is they'll probably be scraping the bottom of the barrel. No, I have a feeling they'll stick with their integrity and only report the news that needs to be reported.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
36.5s
Is... Is this chicken? Oh, hell, no. It's really impossible to turn a profit if you serve real chicken. Yeah. We use mainly bats. What? Yeah. But the good quality kind. That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard. Yeah? You got to do what you got to do, right? So what you got to do is serve fried bats? Yep. Do you know what they call bats? Bats. "Chicken of the cave." No one calls them "chicken of the cave." Who's "they," by the way? There's a guy I met named Paco, sells bikers speed at the pier. So that guy calls them "chicken of the cave." Yeah.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
29.6s
Actress Sheila Blackledge, the mom from the hit sitcom Four's a Family, Five's a Crowd, she just found out her husband cheated on her and she severed his penis while he slept! Oh, my goodness. The police arrived. She fled in her white Bronco, and now they're engaged in a high-speed car chase! We've got an exclusive on the live feed, but we've got to go, right now! Ron, this can be your comeback. Veronica, I... No, Ron. No.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
55.8s
What about Linda? She hasn't called. Linda's pretty busy. Ron, I'm going to need your recipe. So, Ron, what do you do with yourself all day? You're just out here pretty much away from everything. Well, every day begins about the same. I wake up screaming in terror because of the blackness and I think I'm dead. Every day? Yes! Every day! And then I begin what's called The Great Adventure. Making breakfast. I've eaten everything from nails to drink coasters. One time I bit hard into a marble ashtray, thinking it was a savory waffle. I wanted that waffle so bad! Completely shattered my teeth. Couldn't you tell the ashtray wasn't hot like a waffle? No! I couldn't! Because I'm blind! I'm not blind 23 hours a day or 22 hours a day, I'm blind the whole goddamn time! Do you have any idea what it's like to drink a half a bottle of ketchup thinking it was a bottle of 1946 Chateauneuf-Du-Pape?
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
24.3s
And after I received my Masters in Journalism from Columbia, I got a job with the London bureau for ABC News. Wow, London. You're so impressive, and I've... I've only been out of the United States twice. A handful of times in Mexico, and then the second time I left the country, we went to Salem, Oregon. Mr. Burgundy, are you nervous? God, yes. Did I scare you by coming on so strong?
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues