Found 222 results
24.4s
- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?
American Pie
1m15s
So, uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me? - Yes, ma'am, I am. - # And here's to you # # Mrs. Robinson # # Jesus loves you more than you will know # # Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson # - Mmm, you're dead. - # God in heaven smiles on those who pray # # Hey, hey, hey # # Hey, hey, hey ## # Hey, hey, hey ## # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # And there's no cure # # And no way to be sure # # Why everything's turned inside out # # Instilling so much doubt # # It makes me so tired # # I feel so uninspired # # My head is battling with my heart # # My logic has been torn apart And now ## - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did I. Oh, Finchy. Finch. - Oh, Stifler's mom! - Finchy!
American Pie
28.7s
Excuse me, everyone. Sorry to interrupt. I just thought you all should know this. Chuck Sherman is a liar. I never had sex with him. He's never had sex with anyone. I know this because he told me. Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. Oh. He also told me that when he gets nervous, he sometimes wets his pants. Thank you for your time.
American Pie
2m46s
- We're gonna do this. - All right, to the next step! - Next step! Next step! Next step! # I have visions I was in them I was lookin' into the mirror # # To see a little bit clearer # # The rottenness and evil in me # # Fingertips have memories I can't forget the curves of your body # # And when I feel a bit naughty # # I run it up the flagpole and see # # Who salutes but no one ever does # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # And I'm so hot # # 'Cause I'm in hell # # Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding # # The cretins cloning and feeding # - Well, did you get the flowers? - # And I don't even own a TV # # Hear the voices in my head I swear to God # # It sounds like they're snoring # # But if you're poor and you're boring # # The agony and the irony # # They're killing me # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # And I'm so hot # # 'Cause I'm in hell ## Don't worry. You'll get her back soon enough. - You think so? - Sure, she likes you. - Well, I like her too. - Do you love her? - Well, I like her too. - Do you love her? Um, you know what? You can't really ask me that. Well, if you want to get her in the sack, I mean, just tell her you love her. - That's how I was duped. - Look, Jessica, I- I don't want to dupe her. All right. What you need to do... is learn how to press a girl's buttons. You have to give her what she's never had. - What's that? - Let me give you a hint. Ohh, Kev! Uhh. Yeah. - Comprende? - You mean an orgasm. - You got it, stud! - Well, you know, I'm-I'm pretty sure that I've... given her a... - No, you haven't. - Well, there was one time... - No. - Oh, man. - Look, kid, it's up to you. The big "L" or the big "O." - Dickhead! - You gotta see this. - # Do you believe in # - # Magic in a young girl's heart # - # Ooh, ooh # # How the music can free her whenever it starts # # And it's magic if the music is groovy # - # It makes you feel happy # - What did you cocks do to him? - # I'll tell you about the magic It'll free your soul # - # Ooh, ooh, ooh # # But it's like tryin' to tell a stranger 'bout rock 'n' roll ## Great. See you next time.
American Pie
1m35s
Well, this is the... this is the, uh, female form. And they have focused on the breasts, uh, which are used primarily to, uh, feed young infants... - and, uh... and also, uh, in foreplay. - Right. This is, uh... This is Hustler. And this is a much more exotic magazine. Now, they have decided to focus on the, uh, pubic region... - Right. - The whole groin area. Look at the expression on her face. You see that? See what's she's doing? She's kind of looking right into your eyes saying, "Hey, big boy. Hey, how ya doin'?" - You see? - Right. Shaved is a magazine I'm not too familiar with, - but, again, if you flip to the center... Section... Well, you see the detail that, uh, that they go into in this picture here. - Uh-huh. Yeah. - It almost looks like a tropical plant or something... - underwater... thing. - Yeah. Yes. - Do you know what a clitoris is? - Oh, my God. - Well, don't say, "Oh..." - Yes, I know what a clitoris is. Oh, you do. Oh, I see. Yes, you do. I forgot you've been there and back. - You know everything... - I've learned about it in Sex Ed... - I really don't need you to talk about clitoris. - I'm trying to make this painless... - You know what? I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. - No-no-no. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. I shouldn't have got hot there. Well, you know what I'm going to do, Jim. I'm going to just leave these books here... for you to, uh, peruse at your, uh... at your leisure.
American Pie
25.2s
So what are you gonna major in? State's got a good business school, and I could probably walk-on to the lacrosse team. Well, you've probably got it pretty figured out, then, huh? I mean, business is okay, and lacrosse is awesome, but... what am I gonna be, a professional lacrosse player? I really have no idea. Thank God. I thought I was the only one. Well, you're not.
American Pie
1m14s
What was that all about? - He's still embarrassed because Finch kicked his ass. - Who told you that? What do you mean, "no comment"? - Did you two hook up or something? - What, are you kidding? No. Then how did all this get started? Well, I guess it's all right for me to tell you now. That reputation of his isn't going anywhere. Cheese, please. Finch comes up to me and says, "Jessica, I need your help with this, blah, blah, etcetera." So I said, "All right. Pay me 200 bucks, and I'll tell a couple of girls that you're dynamite in bed." So he did, and I did. - That actually works? - Well, duh! Of course. Naturally, I embellished a little bit. Did you hear that Finch had an affair with an older woman? No, I didn't hear that one. That one was my favorite. Do that cheerleader. - # Thank you, baby # - She wants me. She calls me up... # How sweet it is to be loved by you ## Oh, my God, you're gay! Sing it with me. You know the words. No, thanks, man. You've been singin' that shit all week. If you try that at M.S.U. This Saturday, I'll kick your ass. Our last game is this Saturday. Yeah, well, shit.
American Pie
39.1s
This isn't the best way to proposition me. No, that's... That's not what I mean. W- What I mean is, uh... Look, do you know what made me leave that game? See, Coach, he was givin' us this speech about... not slacking off when you see the opportunity to score... This isn't any better, Chris. No, you see... You see, Heather, what I realized is that... with you, it's... not like I'm running towards a goal... looking for the best way to score. This may sound a little corny, but... I feel like I've already won.
American Pie