You ready to bring down the house? Yes, ma'am. Thank you for the opportunity, Miss... Ma'am Jones. Thank you. Jesus, you look fantastic.
Ted
5.4s
Oh, my God, it always looks so great! I always want to fucking brush it. Right, Johnny? I say that.
Ted
2.1s
Come here, you bastard.
Ted
4.9s
NARRATOR: And so John, Lori and Ted lived happily ever after.
Ted
10s
You're back! Yeah, I mean, when you sewed me up you put some of the stuffing in the wrong places so I'm a little fucked up. But will you take care of me forever and ever?
Ted
1.8s
You're right.
Ted
16.5s
What a cunt. Ow! I hate that word! What? That word. It's so sharp, it's like an electric sword slashing everything in its path. Why would you say that? You didn't exactly stand up for me. I'm trying to walk a line, here. I want to be fair to you and to him, you know? I think you're being a little more fair to him. Oh, come on.
Ted
2.4s
In the corner, there is a shit!
Ted
2s
You can thank Ted.
Ted
1.4s
I'm coming.
Ted
4s
Rex is fine. He only hit on me once today, so, it's a good thing.
Ted
4.5s
Lori, will you marry me?
Ted
5.3s
There she is. I was worried you weren't coming. Hey, squirt, how you doing? Where's your bunny rabbit?
Ted
7.1s
(SQUEALS EXCITEDLY) He acknowledged it. Let's do some shots. With you? Ch, my God, yes! Ch, my God, yes! Let's go!
Ted
6.9s
Rex, I don't think it's smart. I'm an asshole, I know that. It worked for me in high school, and it's been a reflex ever since.
Ted
12.2s
What are you, five years old? JOHN: Yeah. But I read at a six-year-old level, so... (LAUGHING) Sir, and madam, here is your dessert and champagne.
