- Okay, okay, okay! - I want a Barbie! This isn't even a real Barbie. You've got a real Barbie that Santa gave you a few weeks ago. Santa got me a fat Barbie! I want a skinny Barbie! She's not fat. She's body positive. If you put the doll back, I'll get you a giant ice cream sundae. So you're rewarding this behavior? - What are you thinking? - You handle it. - Juan, get out of there. Please? - Don't hit me! Don't hit me! I'm sorry! I didn't hit him, okay? I never have hit him. - I would never hit a kid. - I want a Barbie! Stop right now, or you're not getting lunch or dinner. We're not starving people here, okay? I have this under control. Yeah, Lizzy, you body-positive whore! Okay, you're done. Gimme that. Give it to me. Just give me that now! Oh, yeah? Yeah, it really looks like you've got it. - Scan it! Hurry! - No! We're not doing this!
Instant Family
47.7s
Oh, man! Kid dinged a Porsche. - Dude, what are you doing? - I'm sorry, I'm sorry! All right. Just don't cry, okay? He's gonna have to leave a note. - Just help get the stuff out of the back. - Lita! Lita! Honey. Ellie looks dehydrated. She looks bad. - We've got the pizza! - Juan, whoa, whoa. What are you doing, bud? Oh, sorry! Oh, Christ. - It's so warm. - Hey, put the pizza down. - You can't hold it like that. - Hi, Mom. Hey, Dad. You must be Lizzy. Yeah, hi. I'm Lizzy. Um, this is Lita and Juan. Hello, Lita. Hello, Juan. I'm Grammy "Hw-an" and this is Grandpa "Hw-erry." Mom, can you just talk like a normal person? I like the way she says her J's. - Can you please? - It's sophisticated. Here you go, brother. Thanks, man.
Instant Family
15.4s
Hey, sweetie. I brought the car. - Saved you a little walking time. - We had a front space. Well, it's still closer. - Hey, Pete, look at my pretty new doll. - Wow. - So you caved, huh? - No, I did not cave. I bought it for her. It was only four bucks. Can we just get out of here, you coward?
Instant Family
15.3s
She's got a knife. - It's just a SpongeBob knife. - It's still a knife. Just put the knife down, honey. Look, kid, just put down the weapon, okay? You guys want me to deal with this, or do you still got it? - Do you wanna let her jump in here now, please? - Okay, okay. Fine. Fine! Lita.
Instant Family
8.5s
Ellie, you gotta learn some Spanish. - Why would you give a kid milk in a glass cup? - I'm sorry. I didn't... Why did she do that? I hate her!
Instant Family
7.6s
- Someone videotaping this? - Pete, where are you? Where's Pete? You're done. Oh, great. You're out there? Thank you so much.
Instant Family
6.9s
Wait, wh-what's that noise? Why is she growling? That wasn't in the classes. I got nothing for that.
Instant Family
6.1s
Holy shit. There they are. Hey, Jan, Jerry. They're here.
Instant Family
2.3s
Hey, next time...
Instant Family
1.7s
Gracias.
Instant Family
37.4s
Hey! Lizzy, Lizzy, please! Lizzy, no, okay? I've got this. - Why are you yelling at me? I'm just trying to help you. - I'm not yelling at... I'm sor... I am. Just then I was. But it's... Look. Lita, don't do what Lizzy said. What did you say? C uatro? "Go to your bedroom"? No, cuatro means "quart." Like quart of milk. She said, "You're not gonna have a potato chip, but you will drink that milk." In any case, we have this. It's fine. - Okay. Fine. - Okay. Let's try some of this meat loaf, okay? - No! I want my chips! - You're not having chips! I don't think she's getting on board with the plan, honey. - I don't want this! - Hey! - You sure you don't wanna give her chips? - No, we're not giving her chips.
Instant Family
26.7s
We want to thank the Lord for our first Christmas together. And we want to give thanks for this lovely meal and also this, um, bounty of super fun cardboard boxes. - Amen. - Amen. Okay. Tuck in, everybody. Where's my potato chips? We're not having chips tonight, munchkin. Sorry. - I want my chips. - Lita! Lizzy. Pete and I worked really hard on this dinner. There's lots of yummy food for you to eat. - No! - Hey, hey, hey.
Instant Family
47.4s
Hey, Lizzy, this one's for you too. - Merry Christmas. - Oh. - Another one. - Yeah. Thanks. Merry... Merry Christmas. I... You didn't have to get all this stuff for us. I know, I know, but we wanted to. We were excited. Did we go overboard? No, no, no! Um, I'm sorry. I'm happy. I am. I... It's nice to see Lita and Juan get presents that weren't donated from total strangers, so... Hey, Lizzy, if you ever want to talk about anything... I know it's Christmastime and you may have memories and things. Oh, no, no, no. I'm... I'm... I'm good. I... You know what? I just haven't had my morning coffee yet. So I'm gonna get that. - Do you want some coffee? - Sure. Okay.
Instant Family
9s
Yeah, it did. It came in a big $200 box. Let's go! Let's go! - Come on. - Let's go get the box. - Christmas is boxes. - Yes. Yay!
Instant Family
2.4s
Did it come in a big box?
Instant Family
29.1s
- Huh? - Christmas! What is it? It's a sewing machine! What do you think? No? She doesn't like it? Why not? - Looks like a robot, buddy! - Lita, look at this big box! - Dude, it walks and talks. - This could be my helmet! - What about the presents? - I would've went crazy if I got a robot. - I'm playing with that robot. - And this could be the spaceship. - Can I go inside? - Sure. Hey, guys. Wow, you really like cardboard boxes, huh? Is anybody interested in playing with the giant dollhouse it took three hours to assemble?
Instant Family
54.9s
Hey, hey. What's up? Uh, Kylie, Savanna, these are my, um... fosters. - Yeah, yeah. - We're the fosters! - I'll see you guys later. - Actually, we were just gonna go on the water ride. Let her go with her friends. They don't want to be stuck here with a bunch of old farts like you two. They want to ride the big stuff and check out the hot boys. Here's a hundred. Buy yourselves some souvenirs and junk food. - Uh-huh. - Thanks, Grandma Sandy. Thanks! All right, cool. Uh, meet you guys at... What time are we going back to your house? We're going back to our house, where we all live, at 7:00! Okay, I'll see you then. Bye! - Mom, what are you doing? You can't... - Oh, no! Little Juanny's upchucking in the trash bin! You all right, peanut? Was it all the funnel cakes we ate? Oh. Oh, oh.
Instant Family
29.6s
- I did not cave. - Oh, you caved. Lizzy gave you the look and you caved. Maybe I just wanted to be the fun parent for once instead of being the bad guy. - I tried being the bad guy. You wouldn't let me. - Okay, fine. I'm sorry. But look how much fun everybody's having. And Lizzy, she's actually smiling. It's crazy. Hey! Did you have fun? You don't have to go on the kiddie rides. I love the big rides. You want to go on the... - Hey, Lizzy! - Hey, what's up? - Good to see you! - Good to see you too!