Found 1844 results

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1.4s
(DOORBELL RINGING)

Ted

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(DOORBELL RINGING)

Ted

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9.8s
(SIGHS) Fuck it. Fine. Fine. It sure as hell beats crying myself to sleep every night. And if that means getting you off my back, well, that's just a bonus. I'll pick you up at 8:00.

Ted

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This is the American fantasy, right here. A professional NFL player is called upon to save the world. Tom Brady could do that. Tom Brady could do that!

Ted

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4.5s
Yes. But that doesn't mean we can't hang out. We'll hang out all the time.

Ted

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3.4s
Oh, I'm all right. I'm just getting used to things, that's all.

Ted

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JOHN: There he is. Pull over.

Ted

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1.6s
You know I love you.

Ted

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7.5s
Yeah, Rex is having a house party but I'm surprised John didn't tell you, considering you two have seen each other every single day since you moved out.

Ted

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Do I need to wash my hands before I play this game?

Ted

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(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)

Ted

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1.8s
How's work? It sucks.

Ted

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1.5s
(SINGING)

Ted

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7.7s
Hey, Johnny, I just had a great idea. Let's go get drunk and puke on cars from the overpass. Come on, I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin.

Ted

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7.5s
What do you mean "girlfriends"? Was there a lot of them or something? No, that's not what she meant at all. Right, Lori? Lori, you didn't mean that. No, no,no.

Ted

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8.1s
Ming? You pay many dollar for wall! This bullshit! This all bullshit! Death to Ming!

Ted

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5.7s
That took guts. We need guts. I'm promoting you.

Ted

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2.1s
Sometimes you feel like a nut.

Ted