NARRATOR: Before long, Teddy had become a huge celebrity in his own right.
Ted
22.9s
Oh, thank you. Thanks. Yeah. I'm Donny, this is Robert. I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy and I remember seeing you on the Carson show. You were just wonderful. Oh, yeah, that was a weird interview. Ed thought I was ALF, and he kept muttering anti-Semitic comments. He thought ALF was Jewish for some reason. Have you ever considered selling the bear?
Ted
1.2s
What?
Ted
1.5s
(BOTTLE TINKLING)
Ted
2s
JOHN: It should be right here, somewhere.
Ted
4.3s
Hey there. Hey. Hi. Hi.
Ted
1.2s
Fuck, man!
Ted
12.3s
Wow! Here are the ladies. Look at you guys. You guys look amazing. A little heavy on the eye makeup, but pretty good. Thank you, Rex. Thank you. You guys know Lori and Jim, right? John. You guys remember John. WOMEN: Hi.
Ted
11s
Yeah, but what about "thunder buddies for life," Johnny? I know. I just don't know what to do, here. I know it sucks, but otherwise I'm going to lose her. And I do love her, Ted.
Ted
2s
It's an old sweater, huh?
Ted
2.9s
Even more than me.
Ted
1.4s
Lori.
Ted
3.8s
(LAUGHS) I'm just kidding you. I thought it would be funny if you thought I was fucking retarded.
Ted
4.4s
No. No. I wished for my life back.
Ted
1.7s
(GROANING)
Ted
13.5s
He knows he screwed up huge but you've got to believe me it wasn't all his fault. I told him to bail on you that night at Rex's and he said, "No." He said "no," he was going to stay there with you, and I twisted his arm, Lori.
Ted
8.5s
That's the new checkout girl. Don't know her name. Seems cute. Yeah, very cute. Do you know what I'd like to do to her? Something I call a Dirty Fozzie.
