Hi there and welcome back. So, three weeks till Christmas, looks like... the real competition is gonna be Blue. I saw them on the show last week. They weren't very nice about my record. No. Little scamps. But very, very talented musicians. Yeah. I understand you've got a prize... for our competition winners. Yes, I have, Ant or Dec. It's a personalised felt-tip pen. Oh, great. It's brilliant. It even writes on glass, so if you've got a framed picture, like, for instance, this one of Blue, you can just write on it.
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All right. Er, yes, I'm very busy... and important, how can I help you? Have you gone completely insane? You can't always be sensible. 'You can if you're Prime Minister. ' It's the Chancellor on the other line. It isn't. 'I'll call you back. ' - No, you won't.
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Absolutely no idea. I mean, can you imagine? I'll see you later, all right? I'll speak to you. Bye.
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No, right. Silence is golden. As the Tremeloes said. Clever guys, although I think the original version was... by Frankie Valli And The Four Seasons. Gr-great band. Oh, shut up.
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Why? - Because I... thought it'd be something worse. Worse than the total agony of being in love? Er... No, you're right. Total agony.
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Prime Minister. - Thank you very much.
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Well, goodbye. Thank you.
Love Actually
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(TV 'And coming up... later this morning, it's this guy... ' There's no beginning, there'll be no end... Cos on Christmas... '. He bad grandad of rock'n'roll, 'here at 10:30. Do not switch off. ' Banoffee pie? No, thanks. Thank God. You would've broken my heart... if you'd said yes. Right, well, lucky you. Can I come in? Er, yeah, well, I'm a bit busy... I was just passing and I thought... we might check that video thing out. I thought I might be able to swap it for some pie... or maybe Munchies? Actually, I was serious - I don't know... where it is. I'll have a look tonight. Mark, can I say something? Yeah. I know you're Peter's best friend... and I know you've never particularly warmed to me. Look, don't, don't argue. We've never got friendly. But I wanted to say, I hope that can change. I'm nice. I really am. Apart from my terrible taste in pie and... It would be great if we could be friends. Absolutely. Absolutely. Great. Doesn't mean we'll be able to find the video, though. I had a real search when you first called... and couldn't find it so... This one says... 'Peter and Juliet's Wedding'. Do you think we might be on the right track? Er, yeah, well... Wow. That-that could be it. Do you mind if I...? - I've probably taped over it. Almost everything's episodes of West Wing.
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'All right, open your eyes. ' You know, Sammy, I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary... but general wisdom is that in the end, there isn't just one person for each of us. There was for Kate and Leo. There was for you. And there is for me. She's the one.
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Alone again. Naturally. I'll deal with it. - Mm.
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Look, this has to be a very secret visit, OK? Don't worry. This was my school. I know my way around. Come on.
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You've stayed rather close.
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But... you never talk to me. You always talk to Peter. You don't like me. I hope it's useful. Don't show it around too much. Needs a bit of editing. Look, I've got to get to a... lunch. Early lunch. You can just show yourself out, can't you? It's a... self-preservation thing, you see.
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Exciting news. - What? I've bought a ticket to the States. I'm off in three weeks. No. - Yes. To a fantastic place called Wisconsin. No. Yes. Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin. No, Col. There are a few babes in America, I grant you, but they're going out with rich, attractive guys. Tone, you're just jealous. You know perfectly well... that any bar anywhere in America... contains ten girls more beautiful... and more likely to have sex with me... than the whole of the United Kingdom. That is total bollocks. You're mad. No, I'm wise. Stateside I am Prince William... without the weird family. No, Colin, no. - Yes. Nyet. - Da. Nein. - Ja, darling. Right, the Christmas party, not my favourite night of the year... and your unhappy job to organise. Tell me. - It's basic, really. Find a venue, over-order on the drinks, bulk buy the guacamole... and advise the girls to avoid Kevin... if they want their breasts unfondled. Wives and family and stuff? - Yeah. I mean, not children. But their wives and girlfriends, et cetera. Oh, Christ, you haven't got some horrible... six-foot, tight-T - shirt-wearing... boyfriend? No. I'll just be hanging around the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed. Really? Right.