Found 2621 results
49s
Was-Was it ticking? Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking, 'cause modern bombs don't tick. Sorry. "Throwers"? Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, then the thrower's gotta call the police. My suitcase... was vibrating? 9 times out of 10, it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... it's a dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article a dildo. Never your dildo. I don't own a- I had everything in that suitcase- my CK shirts, my DKNY shoes, my AX ties.
Fight Club
31.2s
Home was a condo on the 15th floor of a filing cabinet for widows and young professionals. The walls were solid concrete. A foot of concrete's important when your next-door neighbor lets her hearing aid go and has to watch game shows at full volume... Or when a volcanic blast and debris that used to be your furniture and personal effects blows out of your floor-to-ceiling windows and sails flaming into the night. I suppose these things happen.
Fight Club
44.1s
Oh, it's late. Hey, thanks for the beer. Yeah, man. I should find a hotel. Oh. What? What? A hotel. Yeah. Just ask, man. What are you talking about? Oh, God. 3 pitchers of beer, and you still can't ask. What? You called me 'cause you needed a place to stay. Oh, hey, no, no, no. Yes, you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask, man. Would that be a problem? Is it a problem for you to ask? Can I stay at your place? Yeah. Thanks.
Fight Club
39.8s
Who turned the lights off? It used to be that when I came home angry or depressed, l�d just clean my condo, polish my Scandinavian furniture. I should've been looking for a new condo. I should've been haggling with my insurance company. I should've been upset about my nice, neat flaming little shit. But I wasn't. The basic premise of cyber-netting any office is make things more efficient. Monday mornings, all I could do was think about next week. Can I get the icon in cornflower blue? Absolutely. Efficiency is priority number one, people, because waste is a thief. I showed this already to my man, here. You liked it, didn't you?
Fight Club
36.3s
Rain trickled down through the plaster and the light fixtures. Everything wooden swelled and shrank. Everywhere were rusted nails to snag your elbow on. The previous occupant had been a bit of a shut-in. Hey, man, what are you reading? Listen to this. It's an article written by an organ in the first person. "I am Jack's medulla oblongata. Without me, Jack could not regulate his heart rate, blood pressure, or breathing." There's a whole series of these. "I am Jill's nipples." "I am Jack's colon." Yeah. "I get cancer. I kill Jack."
Fight Club
26.6s
If you could fight anyone, who would you fight? I'd fight my boss, probably. Really? Yeah. Why, who would you fight? I'd fight my dad. I don't know my dad. I mean, I know him, but he left when I was, like, 6 years old, married this other woman and had some other kids. He, like, did this every 6 years. He goes to a new city and starts a new family. Fucker should open up franchises.
Fight Club
41.5s
My name is Bob. Bob. Bob had been a champion body-builder. You know that chest-expansion program you see on late-night TV? That was his idea. I was a juicer. You know, using steroids. Diabonal and... Wistrol. Oh, they use that on racehorses, for Christ sakes. And now I'm bankrupt. I'm divorced. My 2 grown kids... won't even return my phone calls. Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one.
Fight Club