What about your future? - You take life way too seriously. - Life is serious. I used to party with this guy who once told me... "Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive."
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
10.3s
So the deal is, I score... you cooperate and answer all my questions? - I miss-- - Dinner for two, me and you. Clothing optional.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
5.6s
He used to write for the school paper. He kept babbling about the differences between light and dark beer.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
5.1s
My brothers play hockey... for the Rangers.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
1.2s
Holy crap.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
1.2s
Come on!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
35.6s
Not really. I'm still looking for that dare-to-be-great situation. Maybe you should start looking for that dare-to-be-employed situation. The student body finds Van so intriguing... that my editor has asked me to do an expos� on him... for the school newspaper. Isn't that wonderful? - That will be quite the page-turner. - It'll be a very well-written article. Gwen is an extremely gifted journalist. Are you and Richard in the same fraternity? Oh, no. Van isn't exactly Delta Iota Kappa material. Richard, you rascal, you never told me that you were a DIK. Not that you had to.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
9s
- Yeah. - And thank you. All right, things to remember-- commerce and trade-- Everybody just file out in an orderly fashion.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
I want you to have this.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
15.5s
And of course, Gwen's father. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. Dr. Pearson? - Indeed. - Indeed. Super. All right. So... am I here for a physical? 'Cause I'm gonna need a few cocktails before I start coughing for you fellas.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
12.6s
- What are you doing here? - I don't know. No, thank you. Mr. Wilder here is quite the collegian. He's in his, what, sixth year? Lucky number seven, actually.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
7.8s
- What are you studying, son? - I dabble in a bit of everything. I've tried to experience all that Coolidge has to offer. Surely you have a career in mind.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
7.1s
What? Come on. Hop in. I am not getting in that thing with you. If you want the story, you'll get in this thing with me.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
4.6s
I'm gonna go get another bottle of champagne. - Richard, will you help me open it? - Sure.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
What happened? Is everyone okay?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
1.2s
Wilder.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
1m17s
- I'm gonna go wash my hands now. - Oh, Gwen! Your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus. I'm fairly confident I'm going to ejaculate. I'm releasing my seminal fluids inside of you now! Are you okay? Yeah. Why? Didn't you-- It's kinda hard in 15 seconds. Damn it! You know the kind of pressure I'm under with my exams. - I'm sorry. - Look, I'm sorry. This semester's marks could determine the next ten years of our lives. Do you realize that? You know... you shouldn't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm late for my study group.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
31s
Dear Van-- Here you go, Taj. Get your rave on, man. - Thanks. - You got it. "See you tonight. Gwen." The invite to the parents' house. This is big. This is very, very big. - Doesn't she have a boyfriend? - Details. I'm off. Taj, you're in charge. I do not think I'm capable of handling such a responsibility. Listen to me. Do you know why I chose you as my assistant? So you could teach me how to muff dive?