Found 796 results

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- Hello. - Penis, shit, vagina, cock, wolf pussies. Mitch. I'm at work. - Did I get you? - Yeah. You sure did. - You got me on speakerphone? - Yep. Did the secretary hear? Yes, the secretary heard. She heard it all. That's awesome. Not really. How stoned are you right now? I've taken some weed. Have you? Do you know what time it is? It's like 9:00. Holy fuck-knuckles. - Guess what I'm looking at right now. - A bong? No, I found a futon on the street last night. I sort of had to fight a bum for it. He was so thin. And it also came with this vintage Navajo pony blanket... So I think that's pretty much a win for me. Mitch, you know the adults are about to fire up a work day. - I know, I just miss you, dude, that's all. - I miss you, too. We've been super best buddies since third grade. I haven't seen you in forever. I've been swamped. We're sleep-training the twins, and I just haven't had a moment to breathe. I'm sorry, man. I'm just super-excited to see you. We are still on for tonight, right?

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- Great visiting. - You, too.

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This is not my life.

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I am plowing the crap out of this chick around the corner, and now we're gonna have dinner. We're gonna make some scallops, and then it's going to get ugly. This chick is a mess.

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Steve, it's like Christmas in my ass! What are you doing with my wife, man? - Dimitri? - Hey, join the fuck party. - Let's make lady sandwich. - Okay.

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- Mitch sent us a video. - Yeah? That's weird.

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Dave, come on. Open up the door, right now!

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- Oh, my God. - Not very well made?

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Boy, real tempting to kiss my own dick. That tickles. You're jiggling the sac. You're going to go all the way back there? We're going to dinner, not Rio.

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Oh, no.

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Let's do that again.

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No entry!

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- I'll pick you up at 6:00. - Got it. Kirk out.

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Dad.

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I saw you in that commercial for meat, incidentally. That was the most brilliant portrayal of baloney I have ever seen.

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- Hi, Mom! - Hi! What a bad, bad day.

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Maybe ask the district manager. Nope. It is not in the computer. Okay, when will it be in the computer? Maybe tomorrow. That's when Victor gets back. It's not in the computer, it's not in the park. Who is Victor? The guy that knows how to find shit in the computer. How can you lose a fountain? - This is a big deal to us, okay? - I mean, it's a fountain! - Can you look a little bit harder? - That's incredible! It is not in the computer. Yeah, but your attitude is right on your shoulders. No, no, no! There was no physical contact. We're okay. We're fine. We're fine.

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I've got it. I'll do it.

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