This ball club is the heart of this institution. You win, it beats. You lose, it breaks. You're not boxing out, Big Papa. You're my Windex man. I want you shining glass. We gotta D up out there. Darius. I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake. What are you looking at? Your mom said you left your legs at home. For God's sake! I'd do anything for you guys... which is why I'm throwing you a little soiree tomorrow night... but not without a W tonight. You want to know why? Nobody wants to celebrate a loss, guys. Hey, man, you gonna invite those freak honeys from Mt. Holyoke? I already did. They said they'd try to make it if they weren't humping the Matadors. - The Matadors? - What?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
17.9s
"Depression: Is Prozac really the answer?" "Famine-- Crisis in Rwanda." "Tracking Tuition: Where does our money really go?" Each article well-written and researched by our own Gwen Pearson... and each article skipped over by the majority of the student body. I don't care. I won't pander to them.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
7.8s
It does not look good. That's the end of the first half... and the Chickadees will need a miracle to come back and score.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
40.8s
Let's go kick some Matador tail-- How bad do you wanna be... a Delta? Would you walk on broken glass? Let the shards tear into your Achilles tendon... causing acute achondroplasia... which could lead to non-congenital dwarfism as you got older?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.9s
Dad, what are you doing here?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
13.3s
Excuse me. Where can I find Van Wilder? In the Guiness Book of World-fucking-Records, man... under "Raddest fucking dude alive"! Okay. Thanks. In any one of these three rooms, Gramps.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.5s
Come on. We got a ball game to win.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
3s
Who's my alabaster princess?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
7.1s
What is that intoxicating scent you're wearing, Doris? I have cats. Meow!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
3.4s
You can either mail this in or drop it off. Go, baby, go!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.3s
You are. You are.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
16.4s
I'm staying here with my friends. Fine. Maybe your friends can pay your tuition. Because this morning I placed a stop payment on this semester's check. I'm sorry, son. Sometimes in life you have to realize a poor investment... and cut your losses.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
They need me, Ted.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
5.4s
You know, maybe this isn't such a good idea. Being bad seldom is.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
6.1s
You mean, we didn't have to-- But aren't you glad we did?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
1.6s
He?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
13.4s
Seven years, and no degree. You should have graduated twice by now. I've done a lot in seven years. If you don't have your doctorate, you haven't done enough. But you have wasted enough of your time and my money. Pack up your panties, son, because we are headin' home.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
15.8s
We are truly up the Ganges River without a bamboo oar. We're still $1,200 short of your next tuition payment. Taj, I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Write that down. Don't even sweat it, Taj. I've got a plan.