Found 890 results

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I'm leaving. Then leave. But leave the honorable way.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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"Lite Beer vs. Dark-- The Showdown" by Darius Grayson. - Is that the same-- - Pulitzer-prize winning Darius Grayson. He was an alumnus of our journalism staff. He wrote his best stuff in detox. Still does, I'm told. I have got a very challenging assignment for you. A story that nobody's been able to get. - About what? - No, no. It's about whom.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Let's see what the kid's made of.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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11.3s
Freshman year. I'll get the others. - Wait. There are more of these? - Actually, there are many more. It seems Mr. Wilder didn't quite come out of his shell... until mid-sophomore year.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Maybe you could put me on some sort of extension... program? - A little pay-as-you-go? - Are you trying to seduce me? Who, me? No!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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34.8s
First year can be kind of scary, can't it, Timmy? My name's not-- But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter... because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down. - I don't have a pen. - Well, remember that then. And you know something, Timmy? I think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts... but I believe in you.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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I'm so glad you could fit us into your schedule this morning. Wouldn't miss it for the world, sir.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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That ointment really worked. Thanks. Lookin' good there, buddy.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Where the hell is everyone? Mad props for this pimpin' good time... go out to those hung and handsome bad boys... of Lambda Omega Omega.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Cytosine. Nothin' but net, my man. Now remember, before any final, take a pregame dump.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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He's nothing more than a mild rectal itch.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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I'm bleeding!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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- What? - In other school news... we have an update on the "Wilder Watch." The rigorous day has been a success for Van the man. Five finals in the can with Professor McDoogle's advanced econ final to go.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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We're just gonna do a little bit of word association. Cookies!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Excuse me, gentlemen. Van, this is Dr. Henke, proctologist. Oh, well, holy crap. I hope you're not on call tonight.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Posterior gluteal line.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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I need more time. There's got to be something that we can work out.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Mail it in!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder