I'm leaving. Then leave. But leave the honorable way.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
21.2s
"Lite Beer vs. Dark-- The Showdown" by Darius Grayson. - Is that the same-- - Pulitzer-prize winning Darius Grayson. He was an alumnus of our journalism staff. He wrote his best stuff in detox. Still does, I'm told. I have got a very challenging assignment for you. A story that nobody's been able to get. - About what? - No, no. It's about whom.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
Let's see what the kid's made of.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
11.3s
Freshman year. I'll get the others. - Wait. There are more of these? - Actually, there are many more. It seems Mr. Wilder didn't quite come out of his shell... until mid-sophomore year.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
13.6s
Maybe you could put me on some sort of extension... program? - A little pay-as-you-go? - Are you trying to seduce me? Who, me? No!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
34.8s
First year can be kind of scary, can't it, Timmy? My name's not-- But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter... because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down. - I don't have a pen. - Well, remember that then. And you know something, Timmy? I think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts... but I believe in you.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
5s
I'm so glad you could fit us into your schedule this morning. Wouldn't miss it for the world, sir.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
5s
That ointment really worked. Thanks. Lookin' good there, buddy.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
8.7s
Where the hell is everyone? Mad props for this pimpin' good time... go out to those hung and handsome bad boys... of Lambda Omega Omega.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
7.2s
Cytosine. Nothin' but net, my man. Now remember, before any final, take a pregame dump.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.6s
He's nothing more than a mild rectal itch.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
1.5s
I'm bleeding!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
12.6s
- What? - In other school news... we have an update on the "Wilder Watch." The rigorous day has been a success for Van the man. Five finals in the can with Professor McDoogle's advanced econ final to go.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
3.9s
We're just gonna do a little bit of word association. Cookies!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
9.5s
Excuse me, gentlemen. Van, this is Dr. Henke, proctologist. Oh, well, holy crap. I hope you're not on call tonight.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
3.3s
Posterior gluteal line.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
4.1s
I need more time. There's got to be something that we can work out.