Found 890 results
15.8s
We are truly up the Ganges River without a bamboo oar. We're still $1,200 short of your next tuition payment. Taj, I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Write that down. Don't even sweat it, Taj. I've got a plan.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
56.6s
- Thank you. - For four years... I have been grooming myself for the real world. I, like many, define the real world as stuff that happens after graduation. But I was wrong. It took a man by the name of Van Wilder to teach me that. You've all undoubtedly been to one of Van's parties. He's probably touched your life in some way, whether you know it or not. Watch Van do belly flops into a pool... but make sure you see he's raised $5,000 to give the swim team a next season. As you're all aware, Van was almost expelled. What you probably don't know is that he was set up... by a pathetic, egomaniacal frat boy... one who this reporter knows firsthand to have a serious problem... with premature ejaculation. And in reaction to this lynching... Van put in more effort in six days than most have all semester. Win or lose, we should thank him for reminding us what we're all capable of. That's simply what he does-- he inspires the uninspired.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
19.2s
Congratulations, Taj! Your first blow job. In my country, a woman's mastery of her gastronomical releases... is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Desiree is the foremost connoisseur of chili con carne... and a TA at Coolidge. I wish I had teachers like that. And just like that, Topless Tutors was born.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
27s
Thanks for coming in. You did a great job, really. Richard! I was just talking about you. Hey, surprise. I'm on your oral exam board. Look, come in here. I want you to meet your future alumni. - I gotta go-- - No, come on. It's a great time. Look, it's Richard. Finished his written exam in only 20 minutes. This kid is a dynamo. Richard, I want you to meet Dr. Stern. Dr. Fine. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Bagg. I've heard a lot about you.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder