Sometimes I think back to that Christmas morning when I was eight years old. I wish I had just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.
Ted
6.2s
It'll be great when it's furnished. Yeah, and the guy said it ain't hardly had no murders in it. So, that's good.
Ted
5.1s
This is the first time that you've been single in all the years you've worked here.
Ted
5.2s
Woody Harrelson. Smallest dick I've ever seen on a man. (BOTH LAUGHING)
Ted
1.2s
Stay with them.
Ted
1.2s
(GROANS)
Ted
12s
Did you ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm? (IN BOSTON ACCENT) Oh, yeah, oh, yeah! Harder! Harder! Oh, God, that was so good! Now I'm going to stuff my fucking face with Pepperidge Farm!
Ted
8.7s
Lori was right about you. You cannot take responsibility for anything that goes on in your life. Oh, and you can? I don't have to. I'm a fucking teddy bear.
Ted
5s
I'll be back in 30 minutes tops, okay? But Lori cannot find out. She absolutely cannot know I was gone.
Ted
1.5s
I heard you got busted.
Ted
1.8s
Come on, buddy.
Ted
1.5s
No, it doesn't.
Ted
11.8s
We are going to party like the '80s. Show us how, Flash. It's easy. We just gotta nail a lot of girls named Stephanie. God, Johnny, I got so much energy. We better start doing stupid shit.
Ted
5.8s
I know I didn't take our relationship seriously but, Lori, I do love you more than life itself.
