We were together for eight months, and I really loved him. And then he got deported back to Iran, so I know what you're going through.
Ted
4.5s
Let me ask you something. You don't think she's going to be expecting something big, do you?
Ted
6.3s
And I asked my dad if I could have a magical little teddy bear, too. And he said, "No."
Ted
2.7s
Oh. Check this out.
Ted
1.4s
(SCREAMING IN PAIN)
Ted
1.5s
Sorry.
Ted
11.5s
Up the dog's ass, right? Yeah, up the dog's, not the fireman's ass. I thought the fireman stuck his own finger up his own ass. No, I don't think a firefighter would do that. Go, take care of it. Let me know how she is. Thank you. Go.
Ted
9s
Just go out with me one time. And if you're miserable and you hate it then I promise I will never even hint at the subject again.
Ted
4.1s
See, that's why I watch these things. That's like a cool behind-the-scenes thing that you wouldn't know.
Ted
2.4s
Holy shit. Oh, my God. What?
Ted
1.2s
Oh.
Ted
10.6s
You? You know, not bad actually. I met a girl. She's a cashier. No way, that's awesome! Yeah. Well, we should fucking double-date, or something. You, me and Lori, and what's her name? White trash name. Guess.
Ted
4.9s
Trust me, I can do this. Shut up. Let him try it, man. All right, fuck it.
Ted
2.2s
I'm going to have sex with your girlfriend.
Ted
1.2s
I had no idea.
Ted
1.2s
(SIGHS)
Ted
1.2s
Yeah.
Ted
21.8s
Well, I am a former celebrity in a minimum wage job. This is how the cast of Diff'rent Strokes feels. All day, every day. Just awful. They must feel awful. The live ones must feel awful. Come on. It's not that bad, okay? I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content. Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you but my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.
