Found 722 results

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(GROANS)

Ted

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7.8s
Well, here I am. You mean, we get to be best friends for real? For real. Forever and ever?

Ted

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I don't know if I can drive!

Ted

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Wait a second.

Ted

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Hey.

Ted

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I'm not going to try to get you to take me back.

Ted

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Yes!

Ted

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By the power vested in me by the New York Jets and by the united peoples of the planet Mongo, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride, Johnny.

Ted

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(COUGHING)

Ted

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And you better never show your face around Quincy, you hear me? Okay, come on. Ever! I didn't know you had a baby. Is it alive?

Ted

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Oh, man!

Ted

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Jesus, I look like the robot from Aliens. No, look at me, buddy. I promise, you're going to be okay.

Ted

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All the children were opening their gifts with holiday glee.

Ted

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NARRATOR: It has been said that magic vanished from our world a long time ago, and that humanity can no longer fulfill its desires through the power of wishes. To those who have lost the wondrous vision of childhood eyes, submitted here is the story of a little boy and a magical Christmas wish that changed his life forever.

Ted

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Look, I'm only saying this because I love you. You're not going to have any sort of career if you keep wasting time with Ted. Oh, jeez, here we go. Baby, please ask Ted to move out so we can move on with our lives. Lori, look, he's been my best friend since I was eight. I was not a popular child.

Ted

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JOHN: Jesus.

Ted

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You're mine, Ted!

Ted

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Yeah, as you can see you've been a part of our family for quite some time.

Ted