You have to understand, I had no friends before he came along. He's the only reason I ever gained any fucking confidence. But you're no longer eight. You're 35 years old. And unless you're too blind to notice, he's not your only friend anymore. Can we talk about this another time, and just enjoy our anniversary dinner?
Ted
3.7s
MAN: asshole! TED: That's my bad. I was sending a tweet.
Ted
3.7s
Sure. Great, we'll be right back. Come on, buddy.
Ted
5.7s
That took guts. We need guts. I'm promoting you.
Ted
1.2s
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
Ted
1.5s
Welcome back, Ted.
Ted
2.2s
This is art. Get it?
Ted
2.7s
Johnny. It's me.
Ted
21.8s
Well, I am a former celebrity in a minimum wage job. This is how the cast of Diff'rent Strokes feels. All day, every day. Just awful. They must feel awful. The live ones must feel awful. Come on. It's not that bad, okay? I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content. Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you but my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.
Ted
7.3s
Just like in the movie. Yes. Get over here right now. Fuck, I can%! I'm with Lori here. I'm already on probation.
Ted
6.7s
Even Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt. Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.
Ted
3.3s
Yeah, first night in my beautiful new apartment.
Ted
2.4s
There's something that I need to say to you, too.
Ted
1.7s
(AUDIENCE SHOUTING)
Ted
5.4s
REX: That was insane. Did you see the way the guy's body hit the ground? He was like a ragdoll.