Listen, Johnny, I wanna tell you how sorry I am. No, forget it, buddy. Look, Teddy, you were upset, and I shouldn't have brushed it off. I'm so sorry. No, listen to me. Just listen to me. You, too, Sam. I acted like an asshole. All right? I was just hurting because I knew I'd lost.
Ted 2
5.3s
And for what it's worth, as far as I'm concerned, you're a person.
Ted 2
2.1s
(805 POP SONG PLAYING)
Ted 2
4.9s
And you're not a cheater. I mean, I think your balls are perfect. It's around back. All right. Yeah.
Ted 2
3.2s
And plus, after seeing your laptop, I didn't think you had any left.
Ted 2
3.4s
Hey! Um, are you, uh, Tom Brady?
Ted 2
4.3s
Take the damn raincoat off. It's making too much noise. Piss off! I don't wanna get anyjizz on me!
Ted 2
4.3s
And that, in the eyes of the world, I'll always be property.
Ted 2
2.7s
TED: It was him! The guy dressed like the Ninja Turtle!
Ted 2
1.2s
TED: A-ha! I fucking knew it!
Ted 2
1.2s
Get off me!
Ted 2
2.2s
You're really smart, you know that?
Ted 2
1.2s
Yeah, can I help you?
Ted 2
1.6s
(SOFTLY) Just calm down.
Ted 2
1.4s
"Justice."
Ted 2
14.6s
What are you talking about? You're the one who needs the sperm. Yeah, but it's got to be a human hand. It's got to be skin on skin, otherwise it doesn't work. No, it doesn't. It's just friction. Look, I've never done this before. Neither have I. You do it to yourself. Yeah, but that's different. You're an adult with a poster of this guy in your fucking room. You're telling me you don't want this?
Ted 2
12.5s
Two League MVPs, four Super Bowl rings, guaranteed first ballot Hall of Famer. Now let's give him a handjob into this red Solo cup. (WHISPERS) All right. Go ahead. Wait, what do you mean, "Go ahead"? You got to do it.
Ted 2
7.4s
Yeah, I want it! You know I want it, but I'm nervous. What if he doesn't like the way I'm doing it? He deserves the best! Pull yourself together, for God's sakes. He's gonna love it. Go, go, go!
