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11.5s

Huh? Oh, Johnny! TAMI-LYNN: Oh, Johnny, it's perfect. Hey, you know, maybe someday, if you wish hard enough, maybe he'll come to life and you guys can do all kinds of drugs together.

Ted 2

6s

Uh, excuse me. Where's your non-jerk-off bathroom? Down that hallway, to the left. Okay, thanks.

Ted 2

5s

That's the lottery! That's the lottery! That's what you get for fucking exercising!

Ted 2

1.2s

(YELLS)

Ted 2

10.4s

(GRUNTS) I couldn't find any cans, but I got to tell you, there's some awesome shit in that barn. Take a look at this. I found a cowboy hat and a rifle and a guitar. Hey, be careful with that, huh. No, it's okay. It's not loaded.

Ted 2

2.1s

(SIREN BLARING) (TIRES SCREECH)

Ted 2

1.8s

(SIGHS)

Ted 2

1.2s

Hey, Sam.

Ted 2

1.7s

All right, let's go.

Ted 2

2.7s

This is perfect. We're gonna get to the city before 10:00.

Ted 2

4s

Yeah. Hey, that's the name of the South Korean president. (LAUGHS) Right?

Ted 2

4.7s

That weed is really good. It reminds me of the strain I smoked last summer called "Here Comes Autism."

Ted 2

23.9s

Heisthetop civil rights attorney in America. Wait. Is he the one who got that female midget into the Marines? Yeah. Yeah, that had a sad ending though, you remember? She was at a Veterans Day parade, and somebody handed her a bunch of balloons and... (WHOOSHES) Gone! It was very sad. Very sad for the family. You know what? If anyone oan get this verdict overturned, it's him. He's not cheap, but we've become such a high profile case, lfeelhke he might take it pro bono. He's a sucker for media.

Ted 2

1.2s

That's him.

Ted 2

3.6s

Aw, buddy, I love you for that. Thanks, Ted. That means a lot.

Ted 2

19.9s

TED: Oh! Fuck me! TAMI-LYNN: What's the matter? TED: That can't be normal. He's got to be sick. TAMI-LYNN: He's not sick, it's just baby doody. JOHN: Yeah, that's what babies do, Teddy. TED". Oh, you don't think this diaper's gross? JOHN: No. TED: All right. Here, catch. (DIAPER SQUISHING) JOHN: Oh, Teddy, What the fuck? fiSCREANhNG) (TED LAUGHING) Holy shit! Oh, you motherfucker! (CAMERA CLICKING) TED: Hashtag "Shit happens."

Ted 2

3.8s

Ms. Jackson? Mr. Meighan will see you now. Oh, okay. Thank you.

Ted 2

2.2s

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Ted 2

Found 785 results

Huh? Oh, Johnny! TAMI-LYNN: Oh, Johnny, it's perfect. Hey, you know, maybe someday, if you wish hard enough, maybe he'll come to life and you guys can do all kinds of drugs together.

Uh, excuse me. Where's your non-jerk-off bathroom? Down that hallway, to the left. Okay, thanks.

That's the lottery! That's the lottery! That's what you get for fucking exercising!

(YELLS)

(GRUNTS) I couldn't find any cans, but I got to tell you, there's some awesome shit in that barn. Take a look at this. I found a cowboy hat and a rifle and a guitar. Hey, be careful with that, huh. No, it's okay. It's not loaded.

(SIREN BLARING) (TIRES SCREECH)

(SIGHS)

Hey, Sam.

All right, let's go.

This is perfect. We're gonna get to the city before 10:00.

Yeah. Hey, that's the name of the South Korean president. (LAUGHS) Right?

That weed is really good. It reminds me of the strain I smoked last summer called "Here Comes Autism."

That's him.

Aw, buddy, I love you for that. Thanks, Ted. That means a lot.

Ms. Jackson? Mr. Meighan will see you now. Oh, okay. Thank you.

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)