(SINGING) If you wanna sit there with a pie of meat Just fuck your own brother in the front seat Oh, why can't you just say please? Hey! Must be the money Hey, Sam, why do you have a duffel bag that says "Arizona State"? Because that's where I went to school. What, you went to Arizona State? Yeah, why? Oh, man, that's why we lost the case. Hello? You're dicks. Arizona State. Hey, how many times you been fucked on a houseboat? (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING) Oh, come on. Did you write your dissertation on the collected works of, uh, Red Bull? Yeah. Yeah, I did. I got an A on it.
Ted 2
17.7s
Well, yeah. I mean, it would have to be a pro bono situation because we're not really working with much money. But I think you'll be impressed with my client. Oh! Ha-ha! Motherfucker! Sure. Yeah, great. Okay. Thank you so much! Okay, I'll see you then.Bye.
Ted 2
9.7s
Um, 'm the case of Ted v. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts, we, the jury, find for the Commonwealth in that Ted is not a person.
Ted 2
6.1s
I don't know exactly what makes a person a person. All I know is I feel stuff.
Ted 2
4.5s
Mr. Bennett, when and where did you first encounter Ted?
Ted 2
6s
Uh-huh. And, uh, why does Ted not possess a, uh, male appendage?
Ted 2
1.9s
Seems pretty human to me.
Ted 2
2.1s
(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYS)
Ted 2
2.1s
No further questions.
Ted 2
1.4s
He's my best friend.
Ted 2
1.6s
(BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
Ted 2
6s
And what is that stuffing made of? A synthetic cotton-poly blend. Is there anything else in there?
Ted 2
2.6s
And I don't think I ought to be treated any different.
