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2.9s

Mr. Willer, has the jury reached a verdict?

Ted 2

28.5s

What is that? What? What are you doing? I'm getting ready, dude. What do you mean you're getting ready? What are you doing to your hand? I'm doing this for you. I'm getting ready. I got to go in and perform. You got your hand on your diok. What are you doing? I'm trying to get it half hard, so when I get in there I could just bust it out. Sitting out here in public, jerking off? Where do you think you are? Red Lobster? What are you doing? What do you think I got to do in there? Forget it. Now, look, you haven't smoked pot for two whole days, right? Yes, I told you, I'm clean, all right? Your baby's gonna be fine. I'm sorry, ljustdonfi want something I got to feed with a pitchfork when he's 16.

Ted 2

1.2s

Come here!

Ted 2

3.5s

Well, under the circumstances, I guess it's okay.

Ted 2

3.8s

JOHN: Hey, guys? (BREATHING HEAVILY) I'm having some trouble over here.

Ted 2

1.7s

Clubber Lang.

Ted 2

5.3s

I need a full report on all the placement of our merchandise. Contact Bob Jennings atJavHs“.

Ted 2

12.4s

(LAUGHS) I know, I just said your name. Oh, right, yeah, sorry, I'm just a little nervous. I've been out of the game for a while. The game? I don't talk to pretty girls that often. Pretty women, ladies.

Ted 2

6.2s

Hi, I'm calling for Patrick Meighan. This is Samantha Jackson. I defended Ted Clubber Lang in Ted v. Massachusetts.

Ted 2

1.5s

Shut up.

Ted 2

20.4s

His name's "Fuck Scott Fitzgerald"? What? No. Well, then, what's the "F" stand for? Francis. No. It's got to be "Fuck." It must be "Fuck." It's got to be "Fuck." It has to be "Fuck." Why the hell would it be "Fuck"? Well, because otherwise, why wouldn't he just say it? Yeah, he's hiding something. It's "Fuck." Come on, read between the “nee, Sam. We “F uck.“ (LAUGHS) That's completely insane. You guys are idiots. Yeah, well, whatever. Ted Clubber Lang. Get used to it.

Ted 2

11.5s

Huh? Oh, Johnny! TAMI-LYNN: Oh, Johnny, it's perfect. Hey, you know, maybe someday, if you wish hard enough, maybe he'll come to life and you guys can do all kinds of drugs together.

Ted 2

6s

Uh, excuse me. Where's your non-jerk-off bathroom? Down that hallway, to the left. Okay, thanks.

Ted 2

5s

That's the lottery! That's the lottery! That's what you get for fucking exercising!

Ted 2

1.2s

(YELLS)

Ted 2

10.4s

(GRUNTS) I couldn't find any cans, but I got to tell you, there's some awesome shit in that barn. Take a look at this. I found a cowboy hat and a rifle and a guitar. Hey, be careful with that, huh. No, it's okay. It's not loaded.

Ted 2

2.1s

(SIREN BLARING) (TIRES SCREECH)

Ted 2

1.8s

(SIGHS)

Ted 2

Found 785 results

Mr. Willer, has the jury reached a verdict?

Come here!

Well, under the circumstances, I guess it's okay.

JOHN: Hey, guys? (BREATHING HEAVILY) I'm having some trouble over here.

Clubber Lang.

I need a full report on all the placement of our merchandise. Contact Bob Jennings atJavHs“.

(LAUGHS) I know, I just said your name. Oh, right, yeah, sorry, I'm just a little nervous. I've been out of the game for a while. The game? I don't talk to pretty girls that often. Pretty women, ladies.

Hi, I'm calling for Patrick Meighan. This is Samantha Jackson. I defended Ted Clubber Lang in Ted v. Massachusetts.

Shut up.

Huh? Oh, Johnny! TAMI-LYNN: Oh, Johnny, it's perfect. Hey, you know, maybe someday, if you wish hard enough, maybe he'll come to life and you guys can do all kinds of drugs together.

Uh, excuse me. Where's your non-jerk-off bathroom? Down that hallway, to the left. Okay, thanks.

That's the lottery! That's the lottery! That's what you get for fucking exercising!

(YELLS)

(GRUNTS) I couldn't find any cans, but I got to tell you, there's some awesome shit in that barn. Take a look at this. I found a cowboy hat and a rifle and a guitar. Hey, be careful with that, huh. No, it's okay. It's not loaded.

(SIREN BLARING) (TIRES SCREECH)

(SIGHS)