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2.4s

Is Ted a human being?

Ted 2

2.2s

I need Shep Wild.

Ted 2

1.5s

(CLEARS TH ROAT)

Ted 2

10s

Forgive me, that's a normal ovary. This is Tami-Lynn's. TED: Jesus! Yeah, but I bet this stuff happens a lot. You probably see this kind of stuff all the time, right?

Ted 2

3.9s

Mr. Wild, your opening statement, if you please.

Ted 2

15.2s

Hello? Johnny, Johnny, it's me. You got to help me. Ted, where are you? Dude, we've been looking everywhere for you. I'm at Comic Con, but, John, it's Donny! He's here! He's after me. You got to get over here. What the fuck? Did you just say "Donny"? John, what's going on? Yes, it's him! He's...

Ted 2

1.2s

What the hell?

Ted 2

1.7s

I'm afraid I have bad news.

Ted 2

7.8s

Well, I have gone through your application and vetted your personal histories, and I'm afraid this isn't gonna work out.

Ted 2

7.8s

Are you sure you can get him? Remember, you're on your own out there. Hasbro can have no connection to this. Oh, I'll get him.

Ted 2

2.6s

Hey, you go pull a bad back, bitch!

Ted 2

3.4s

Hello? (BANGING) on! Fuck!

Ted 2

1.4s

Good.

Ted 2

1.3s

Jusflce.

Ted 2

1.2s

Sir?

Ted 2

1.5s

How far away does he live?

Ted 2

26.1s

What, is there a problem? Well, you know, I just don't want my lawyer singing Frozen songs during the opening arguments. It's just this is a really important case. Ted has already lost his job, his marriage has been annulled. I know. My uncle gave me all the details. Right. You see, the thing is, we don't want to take any chances because the stakes are so significant. We can't just rush into anything. We got to make sure we're making the right decision. TED: We really appreciate your time, but I think what we're probably gonna do is just take a seat and get to work. Trust you completely. Yeah, we really feel like you got a lot to offer.

Ted 2

10s

Well, I guess it's all right. Those are the rejected sickle-cell samples. Ah, you hear that, Johnny? You're covered in rejected black-guy sperm. You look like a Kardashian. Fuck!

Ted 2

Found 785 results

Is Ted a human being?

I need Shep Wild.

(CLEARS TH ROAT)

Forgive me, that's a normal ovary. This is Tami-Lynn's. TED: Jesus! Yeah, but I bet this stuff happens a lot. You probably see this kind of stuff all the time, right?

Mr. Wild, your opening statement, if you please.

Hello? Johnny, Johnny, it's me. You got to help me. Ted, where are you? Dude, we've been looking everywhere for you. I'm at Comic Con, but, John, it's Donny! He's here! He's after me. You got to get over here. What the fuck? Did you just say "Donny"? John, what's going on? Yes, it's him! He's...

What the hell?

I'm afraid I have bad news.

Well, I have gone through your application and vetted your personal histories, and I'm afraid this isn't gonna work out.

Are you sure you can get him? Remember, you're on your own out there. Hasbro can have no connection to this. Oh, I'll get him.

Hey, you go pull a bad back, bitch!

Hello? (BANGING) on! Fuck!

Good.

Jusflce.

Sir?

How far away does he live?

Well, I guess it's all right. Those are the rejected sickle-cell samples. Ah, you hear that, Johnny? You're covered in rejected black-guy sperm. You look like a Kardashian. Fuck!