Here you go, guys. We're gonna be closing in a few, but I'm going to this after-hours thing at my friend's apartment, if you wanna join. Oh, thanks, Allison. Butlgotan early day tomorrow. Oh, okay.
Ted 2
2.9s
Please follow the instruction, Mr. Clubber Lang.
Ted 2
1.3s
What is your name?
Ted 2
3.6s
Nonetheless, I wish you all the best in your efforts.
Ted 2
3.2s
(EXHALES) Have you guys at least tried marriage therapy?
Ted 2
3.5s
That wasn't supposed to happen. That was an accident.
Ted 2
2.4s
Ted, you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you.
Ted 2
2s
Are those Tootsie Rolls just, like, to take?
Ted 2
1.7s
(SOBS) So beautiful.
Ted 2
20.7s
Okay, so what are we even talking about here? What we're talking about is a civil rights issue. This bear has rights. Oh, come on! He does not! He's a toy. Then why are you calling it a "he"? Look, we call the Statue of Liberty "she," but we all know it's an object made of copper and steel. Oh, good point. Yes, but she isn't conscious or sentient. He is. Mmm-hmm.
Ted 2
6.8s
Oh, you guys are getting married? No, we're just gonna go home and tie our dioks together. Ha! Fuck you. Fuck you. Deal.
Ted 2
4.1s
WEDDING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, your newlyweds! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
Ted 2
6.9s
Oh, Johnny, come on, man. It's been six months since you guys got divorced. I know, I know. It's just that...
Ted 2
1.2s
Thank you.
Ted 2
16.8s
I do. SAM: And do you, Ted, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? Fuckin' A right, I do! (GIGGLES) Then, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bear.
Ted 2
2.4s
Rick and I are actually about to tie the knot.
Ted 2
28.2s
MALE NARRATOR: We are often told that happily-ever-afters exist only in the pages of fairy tales and in the naive minds of sheltered innocents. And yet, on this bright, sunny, Boston afternoon, a talking teddy bear is about to marry his girlfriend, proving two things. Happy endings can come true for anyone. And America doesn't give a shit about anything.
