Found 785 results
14.6s
What are you talking about? You're the one who needs the sperm. Yeah, but it's got to be a human hand. It's got to be skin on skin, otherwise it doesn't work. No, it doesn't. It's just friction. Look, I've never done this before. Neither have I. You do it to yourself. Yeah, but that's different. You're an adult with a poster of this guy in your fucking room. You're telling me you don't want this?
Ted 2
18.8s
(SCOFFS) Now, come on! Are any of you gonna sit there and tell me that this stuffed doll is a person? No. Not at all. We all agree all the time. I don't think he should want to be considered a person. After all, you know, Ted spent many years sleeping and cuddling with a child. That's cute when you're a stuffed animal. When you're a person, that's a felony. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Ted 2
20.2s
FUCK you! Hey, Ted! Come on! I'm sorry. He doesn't mean that. Please forgive me, I'm sorry. There's just no indication that you've had any positive effect on the world around you. Well, that's not true. He's had a positive effect on me. Would that positive effect be yourjoint arrest for purchasing marijuana in 2003? Well, how the fuck do you prepare for a Foo Fighters concert?
Ted 2
27.8s
TED: Hey, buddy. You okay, there? You look a little down. Are you still shaking off that hangover from the bachelor party? Oh! That's nice. Oh, my God. She's fucking begging for it! (LAUGHS) She's totally begging. Get it. Get in there. Look at her. She wants it bad! JOHN: Oh, yeah. She wants more than just a fucking pizza delivery, huh? (MEN LAUGHING) TED: That's bigger than the average bear right there, I tell you. JOHN: You know what's fucked up? Dude, that's somebody's fucking daughter! MAN: Oh, shit! Jesus! Come on!
Ted 2