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8.7s

Why me ? - 'Cause you have got the biggest tits. - Shh. Shh. - Ahem.

Major Payne

25.4s

Payne's gonna kill us. You know I have a heart condition. I'm not sure he's familiar with my medical history. Let's go, let's go, let's go ! Come on ! Move it ! Saddle up that horsey and ride ! You ever hear of knocking, Dotson ? You won't have to worry about that anymore. I have good news for you, assholes. Pack your bedding, your kit and your clothes ! Let's go ! Where to ?

Major Payne

13.5s

You mean, the explosion ! Yes, and the eye-gouging part. You need to loosen up. Not everything can be about war.

Major Payne

28.9s

Well, you know what y'all got comin' ? Seven 23-hour days... full of fun and adventure. I'm gonna make you boys strong ! Sir. Yes, turd ? It was me, sir. I hired him. Well, that's one death warrant signed. Do I have any more volunteers ?

Major Payne

2.1s

Like what ?

Major Payne

7.2s

- Where is he ? - He better get here. Alex ! Alex !

Major Payne

2.1s

Mmm.

Major Payne

5.2s

Can't you see I'm eatin', turd ? There's a call for you, sir.

Major Payne

17.3s

That's a mighty fine handshake you got there. - You wanna wrestle ? Uh, no thanks. I wrestle with these kids all day. This one's usually my big helper. Come on, Tiger. Nice meeting you, Major. Nice meetin' you, Miss Ma'am.

Major Payne

29.1s

Back to the sweet smell of mustard gas... and killin'. Little did I know what awaited for me. I've toured 11 separate engagements... from Iraq to Haiti, but nothin' I did would prepare me for this newest assignment. I was told it would be my greatest challenge. It was sure to be a living hell.

Major Payne

24.6s

What you runnin' from, boy ? She's tryin' to give me a shot ! You don't like needles ? You want me to show you a little trick take your mind off that pain ? Here, gimme your hand. Now, you may feel a little bit of pressure. Hi, I'm Emily Walburn, the school counselor. You must be Major Payne.

Major Payne

10.6s

So after two and a half weeks... of livin' a civilian puke's existence, I was back in uniform, back in the Corps.

Major Payne

2.7s

- Come in.

Major Payne

12.5s

Oh, that's great ! But is there anything that you like that doesn't have to do with battle ? - Like what ? - Like golf. Negative.

Major Payne

20.4s

So what is it, exactly ? Concentrated dithiazanine. - What the hell is that ? - It's like a super-laxative. This here'll pack enough punch to take out an entire football team. Payne'll never get off the can. He'll be makin' beef stool 'til graduation. - Yeah. - All right. Payne'll never know what hit him.

Major Payne

1m8s

What you want Baby, I got What you need You know I got it All I'm askin' - Is for a little respect when you come home - Just a little bit - Hey, baby - Just a little bit - When ya get home - Just a little bit - Mister - Just a little bit I ain't gonna do you wrong while you're gone I ain't gonna do you wrong 'cause I don't wanna All I'm askin' is for a little respect when you come home - Just a little bit just a little bit - Baby, when you get home And all I'm askin' in return, honey Is to give me my propers when you get home - Just a, just a, just a - Yeah, baby, when you get home - Just a little bit Just a little bit - Yeah Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight.

Major Payne

5.9s

Tiger ! Tiger, come back here ! I'm not gonna chase you.

Major Payne

7.3s

Did I say you could touch my bed ? - No. - Get off. Ow !

Major Payne

Found 234 results

Why me ? - 'Cause you have got the biggest tits. - Shh. Shh. - Ahem.

You mean, the explosion ! Yes, and the eye-gouging part. You need to loosen up. Not everything can be about war.

Well, you know what y'all got comin' ? Seven 23-hour days... full of fun and adventure. I'm gonna make you boys strong ! Sir. Yes, turd ? It was me, sir. I hired him. Well, that's one death warrant signed. Do I have any more volunteers ?

Like what ?

- Where is he ? - He better get here. Alex ! Alex !

Mmm.

Can't you see I'm eatin', turd ? There's a call for you, sir.

That's a mighty fine handshake you got there. - You wanna wrestle ? Uh, no thanks. I wrestle with these kids all day. This one's usually my big helper. Come on, Tiger. Nice meeting you, Major. Nice meetin' you, Miss Ma'am.

Back to the sweet smell of mustard gas... and killin'. Little did I know what awaited for me. I've toured 11 separate engagements... from Iraq to Haiti, but nothin' I did would prepare me for this newest assignment. I was told it would be my greatest challenge. It was sure to be a living hell.

What you runnin' from, boy ? She's tryin' to give me a shot ! You don't like needles ? You want me to show you a little trick take your mind off that pain ? Here, gimme your hand. Now, you may feel a little bit of pressure. Hi, I'm Emily Walburn, the school counselor. You must be Major Payne.

So after two and a half weeks... of livin' a civilian puke's existence, I was back in uniform, back in the Corps.

- Come in.

Oh, that's great ! But is there anything that you like that doesn't have to do with battle ? - Like what ? - Like golf. Negative.

Tiger ! Tiger, come back here ! I'm not gonna chase you.

Did I say you could touch my bed ? - No. - Get off. Ow !