You're a no good heartbreaker You're a liar and you're a cheat And I don't know why I let you do these things to me My friends keep tellin' me That you ain't no good Oh-h-h-h but they don't know That I'd leave you if I could I guess I'm uptight And I'm stuck like glue 'Cause I ain't never I ain't never I ain't never no, no Loved a man the way-- I can't believe he actually left. Alex, where are you going ? To the games. You guys better start getting ready. We gotta be there in an hour. We don't have to go to the games. Payne's gone. We don't have a chance without Payne. Listen, Payne or no Payne, I'm gonna go out there and win that stupid trophy. We busted our asses off out there gettin' ready for this. Now I didn't go through all that to come out empty-handed.
Major Payne
57.8s
Got no worry, got no stress Got no worry, got no stress 'Cause we feel good in our dress 'Cause we feel good in our dress Major Payne's a major dis Major Payne's a major dis Makes us squat when we piss He makes us squat when we piss Got no worries Got no care - Got no worries, got no care I'm a baldheaded son of a bitch without hair I'm a baldheaded son of a bitch without hair Used to be Samson Now I'm Ann Used to be Samson Now I'm Ann Gotta earn my right to be called a man Gotta earn my right to be called a man I'll tell you, ladies, you're the purtiest unit ever underneath my command ! Maybe I'll have to change my name... - to Pimp Daddy Payne ! - Heh-heh-heh. - Major !
Major Payne
39.5s
What are the boys doing in those dresses ? They puttin' on a fashion show. I thought we had a little talk about this kind of negative reinforcement. Weren't you gonna be my big helper ? Yeah, but they started it. - Well, I'm stopping it. - Don't touch my whistle. - I was just gonna-- - Don't touch the whistle. All right, ladies ! Take off those dresses. Head to your barracks. Fold 'em up neatly. Let's move it.
Major Payne
31.2s
Do you really think that this approach... is the best way to gain the trust of these boys ? They may not like me, but they will respect me. Let me be more direct. - They hate you. - Good. It'll draw them close together, make 'em a team. - That's a very cynical plan. - Yeah, but it won't backfire. Here. I would like you to consider an alternative approach. I want you to have this book. Read it. Apply it.
Major Payne
4.8s
- You should shave your legs more. - Shut up ! Good day, Miss Walburn.
Major Payne
10.7s
- Closer. Closer. Now, now, now put your arm around him.
Major Payne
3s
- Hello, Betty. - Aghhh !
Major Payne
2.1s
He's in there ?
Major Payne
3.4s
You wanna see nurturin' ?
Major Payne
44.5s
Maybe what he need... is for you to pop your titty out his mouth... and let the boy grow up. Excuse me ? What did you say ? I didn't stutter. I said: "Pop your titty out his mouth... and stop babyin' him !" I don't call it babying. I call it nurturing. And I call it neutering ! And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, dictatorial, egomaniacal, frigid, lunatic asshole ! I ain't frigid. He's still there !
Major Payne
28.6s
Sensitive. You call that being sensitive ? Let me give you a little history on Kevin Dunne. - Both of his parents are dead. - Car accident, 1989. Lived in the Chelsea orphanage 'til 1991 when the school adopted him. I know all about it. Well, then you should also know that the last thing he needs right now... is a sadistic father figure scaring the life out of him.
Major Payne
8.9s
Well, that's all this is. Why don't you run on back to your room... before that man jump out the closet and chop your little head off.
Major Payne
26.7s
Have you been reading the book ? I might have glanced at it once or twice. Oh, well, that's very good ! I'm very proud of you, Major. - Oh, shucks. It ain't hard bein' sensitive. - He's back ! He's back ! - Who's back ? The man who lives in my closet. Aw, boy, get on outta here with that "I'm scared of the dark" crap. Go on, now. Git ! Sensitive.
Major Payne
9.5s
Well, hello, Miss Walburn. I just came by to let you know that Wuligar has a slight temperature, so you might not want to torture him this evening.
Major Payne
22.2s
Shut up. All right. I got a surefire plan to get rid of that son of a bitch. - What is it ? - What ? What ? - It's gonna cost us. How much you got ? - Twenty. - I got 25. - Put me down for 40. - All right, Dotson ! - Yeah ! - Yeah ! All right, we're takin' out Payne tomorrow ! - Yeah ! - Yeah ! - Yeah !
Major Payne
20.8s
What's your angle, boy ? You plottin' on me ? - No, sir ! - Don't you know I could snap your neck in 20 different places ? Major, Major ! It's okay ! He's just trying to show you some affection ! I don't like it. Make me feel all funny.
Major Payne
13.9s
- If he's still in there, he ain't happy. - What was that ? Major Payne just terminated that bad man with extreme prejudice ! And if he's still in there, he ain't happy !