Found 785 results

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42s
Oh, my God! He said he'll meet with us on Friday at 9:00 a.m. at his office in New York. Is he gonna take the case? I don't want to jinx it, but I think so. Oh, my God! You hear that, Johnny? (LAUGHS) I still get a shot! JOHN: Yes! Oh, my God! We got to celebrate! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Let's go down to the improv and yell sad suggestions? Fuck yeah! So first we need a historical event. Who's got an event? TED: 9/11. (STUTTERS) Okay, maybe something else. All right, let's start with a person. JOHN: Robin Williams! Okay, all right, for real, guys, for real. Who's got a person? TED: Robin Williams on 9/11. All right, we've heard from these guys. Let's maybe give somebody else over here a chance. How about a location? Let's go with a location. TED: The offices of Charlie Hebdo.

Ted 2

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9s
You're very lucky. I saw what you did on TV. Yeah, he saved my ass is what he did. You know why? Because he's a person.

Ted 2

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10.5s
What? Why not? Well, first of all, there's the question of Tami-Lynn's drug conviction. Hey, I did my community service. Yeah, besides, that was five years ago. She's clean.

Ted 2

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1.7s
Who's that buttnut over there?

Ted 2

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3.4s
Uh, no, that's... That's not in our budget here.

Ted 2

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1.2s
I'm busy.

Ted 2

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4.9s
What do you wanna do now? You don't deserve him, John. You never did. You never did!

Ted 2

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1.8s
What defines a person?

Ted 2

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2.3s
No. No, you... You should be fine.

Ted 2

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5.1s
And as soon as I'm done fucking myself, I'd like to take yourcase,Ted.

Ted 2

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2.7s
I'm sorry, Your Honor. I'm on my period.

Ted 2

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5.1s
We're all in agreement that Ted is self-aware.

Ted 2

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14.1s
Hey, if you guys want to bang, me and Teddy can totally leave the room. No,no,honey,honey, they're classy, they're not like us. They're good pe0Ple- I'm happy to see everyone has made a full recovery. Mr. Meighan. What the hell? Holy shit! Is it all right if I come in?

Ted 2

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1.9s
I wanna have a baby.

Ted 2

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14.7s
You better not be messing with me. I swear to God, not messing with you. I think you'd make an awesome mom. Oh, my God! Are you kidding me? I would, like, kick so much ass at mommin'! (CHUCKLES) So what do you say? We all good? Yes! Oh, I love you! I love you so much! Oh, baby, I love you, too! (SMOOCHES)

Ted 2

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1.4s
Ms. Jackson?

Ted 2

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3.9s
I'm sorry. But as of today, you're fired.

Ted 2

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2m9s
(SINGING) Mean 0/' moon It must be fun To shine upon me as I come undone Till I'm all alone beneath the sun You mean 0l' moon With your beam you led the way And found me love I thought was here to stay Then you went and took my love away You mean 0l' moon Oh, you mean 0l' stars above The games that you play with me I could find some happiness If all of my nights were cloudy Mean 0l' moon I hope it's true You're takin' all the light that's left in you And saving it up for you know who You mean 0l' moon You mean 0l' moon Yes!

Ted 2