- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?
American Pie
1m15s
So, uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me? - Yes, ma'am, I am. - # And here's to you # # Mrs. Robinson # # Jesus loves you more than you will know # # Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson # - Mmm, you're dead. - # God in heaven smiles on those who pray # # Hey, hey, hey # # Hey, hey, hey ## # Hey, hey, hey ## # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # And there's no cure # # And no way to be sure # # Why everything's turned inside out # # Instilling so much doubt # # It makes me so tired # # I feel so uninspired # # My head is battling with my heart # # My logic has been torn apart And now ## - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did I. Oh, Finchy. Finch. - Oh, Stifler's mom! - Finchy!
American Pie
28.7s
Excuse me, everyone. Sorry to interrupt. I just thought you all should know this. Chuck Sherman is a liar. I never had sex with him. He's never had sex with anyone. I know this because he told me. Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. Oh. He also told me that when he gets nervous, he sometimes wets his pants. Thank you for your time.
American Pie
3.6s
- I wanna have sex. - Now?
American Pie
11s
And then he just puked his brains out. - That is a nasty story. - Yep, I told you. Do you want to hear a nasty story of mine? It's sort of sexual.
American Pie
20.3s
Strip! - Strip? - Slowly. Uh, you mean, like, strip strip? For me. What is he talkin' to her about? - Uh, no idea. - Come on, Jim. People are viewing. Get to business.
American Pie
2.6s
Hmph.
American Pie
4.7s
Still questing after the Holy Grail, huh, guys?
American Pie
2.4s
This'll do. Whoo-hoo!
American Pie
4.4s
- Mom? Shit-brick? - Hey, Stifler.
American Pie
48.9s
I don't think he's comin' back. # Close my eyes at night # - # Close my eyes # - # Wonderin' where would I be without you in my life # - # Oh # - # Everything I did was just a bore # - # Just a bore # - # Everywhere I went seems I been there before # # But you brighten up for me all of my days # - # With a love so sweet # - # In so many ways # # I just wanna stop # - # And thank you, baby # - # I just wanna stop # - # And thank you, baby # - # Thank you, baby # # How sweet it is to be loved by you ## Yeah, Oz! You fuckin' rule! - Fuckin' rule! - Yeah!
American Pie
45.2s
Jesus. Right this way, sir. Oh, God. Oh, no.
American Pie
8.2s
What is she... She's touching my stuff. - Why is she touching my stuff? - Man, let her touch. - She's going through my stuff! - Nadia can touch anything she wants.
American Pie
3.9s
- D-Does this mean I'm not gonna get to do the duet? - Albert, you suck.
American Pie
2.1s
Last night, though.
American Pie
16.2s
I was being selfish and majorly insensitive. I'm a... I'm a total idiot. I mean, a fool, a buffoon. I think shithead really says it. You know what? You're right. I'm a shithead, and I want to make it up to you. You know what? You're right. I'm a shithead, and I want to make it up to you. Oh, yeah? How? Oh, yeah? How?
American Pie
16.8s
- Ah! Good attitude, Ostreicher. - Good luck, fellas. Christ, I didn't tell ya to leave the game. I'm sorry, Coach. You got someplace more important to be, Ostreicher? Yeah. Ostreicher!
American Pie
13.6s
Well, it, uh... It came from the heart. Well, keep it coming. All right, people, good work! Now, don't forget. The state competition's a couple of weeks away, so keep on it, okay?