Found 222 results
24.4s
- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?
American Pie
1m1s
Dude, it's not like I haven't been trying to get laid. Think about when you work out, Oz. You gotta have someone there, right? Someone to spot you. Someone to keep you motivated. Well, that's exactly what we can do for each other. I mean, we'll be there to keep each other on track. Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together, we are the masters of our sexual destiny. Their tiger-style kung fu is strong. But our dragon-style will defeat it. - Guys! - The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite! - Fight, and find out who is number one. - Guys! Come on. You're ruining my moment here. This is our very manhood at stake. We must make a stand, here and now. No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be. This is our day. This is our time. And, by God, we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into celibacy. - Amen. Yes. - I like that. - We will make a stand. We will succeed. - 'Bout time! - We will get laid! - Yeah! - Yeah!
American Pie
1m15s
So, uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me? - Yes, ma'am, I am. - # And here's to you # # Mrs. Robinson # # Jesus loves you more than you will know # # Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson # - Mmm, you're dead. - # God in heaven smiles on those who pray # # Hey, hey, hey # # Hey, hey, hey ## # Hey, hey, hey ## # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # And there's no cure # # And no way to be sure # # Why everything's turned inside out # # Instilling so much doubt # # It makes me so tired # # I feel so uninspired # # My head is battling with my heart # # My logic has been torn apart And now ## - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did I. Oh, Finchy. Finch. - Oh, Stifler's mom! - Finchy!
American Pie
35.7s
- # If you believe in magic # - # Ooh, magic # # Don't you bother to choose if it's jug band music or rhythm and blues # # Just go and listen It will start with a smile # # That won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try # # Your feet start tappin' and you can't seem to find how you got there # # Do you believe in magic ## # Scooby-dooby doo bah scoo-scooby-dooby dooby-dooby doo bah # # Yeah, magic ## What was that? - Uh, sorry. - No, it was good.
American Pie
28.7s
Excuse me, everyone. Sorry to interrupt. I just thought you all should know this. Chuck Sherman is a liar. I never had sex with him. He's never had sex with anyone. I know this because he told me. Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. Oh. He also told me that when he gets nervous, he sometimes wets his pants. Thank you for your time.
American Pie
47.2s
- Oh, my God! - Jackpot, baby! - Can you believe this? - Nadia, I would have never known. I have an announcement that I would like to make. There is a gorgeous woman... masturbating on my bed! - Thank you, Nadia! - If you ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it. - What am I supposed to do, Kev? - Seduce her. Wha... What the hell would I say? Go over there and ask her if she needs an extra hand. - That's stupid, Kev. I can't... - That's not stupid! You're stupid if you don't go! Come on! Get over there! - Get goin', man. She's prime. - Get out of here! - She's waitin' for you. - Okay, all right. I'm goin'. - Go! - Go! - I'm goin'! - Go! Go! Go! Go! - Oh, shit.
American Pie
1m19s
# Till the evenin' ends ## All right, status check. Where do you guys stand? Finch, we know where you are, but can't really use that as an excuse. Jim? Uh, my date's a flute-toting band dork. Does that answer your question? Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit gonna pay off or what? Kevin, what's with the attitude? Attitude? Me? I think you guys should be a little more enthusiastic. This is the night we've been waiting for. We're in this together. You guys can't back out. Kev, you don't need us to get laid. Are you afraid or something? No. Come on. We made a pact. You can't break that. You guys are gonna have to... Have to what, Kev, huh? I don't have to do shit. Forget it already. I am so sick and tired of all this bullshit pressure. I've never even had sex, and already, I can't stand it. I hate sex! And I'm not gonna stand around here busting my balls over something that, quite frankly, isn't that damn important. I'm gonna go hang out with that geek over there... 'cause at least she has something else to talk about besides sex. Goddamn.
American Pie