- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?
American Pie
1m15s
So, uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me? - Yes, ma'am, I am. - # And here's to you # # Mrs. Robinson # # Jesus loves you more than you will know # # Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson # - Mmm, you're dead. - # God in heaven smiles on those who pray # # Hey, hey, hey # # Hey, hey, hey ## # Hey, hey, hey ## # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # And there's no cure # # And no way to be sure # # Why everything's turned inside out # # Instilling so much doubt # # It makes me so tired # # I feel so uninspired # # My head is battling with my heart # # My logic has been torn apart And now ## - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did I. Oh, Finchy. Finch. - Oh, Stifler's mom! - Finchy!
American Pie
28.7s
Excuse me, everyone. Sorry to interrupt. I just thought you all should know this. Chuck Sherman is a liar. I never had sex with him. He's never had sex with anyone. I know this because he told me. Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. Oh. He also told me that when he gets nervous, he sometimes wets his pants. Thank you for your time.
American Pie
10.8s
Jessica, this is great! - Felt sorta guilty about taking your money. - You spent $200 on this? No, I spent 50 on the flask, 150 on the earrings.
American Pie
4.5s
Okay, Dad. - Promise me. - I promise.
American Pie
25.8s
It's gonna be fun. You know it's just gonna be some crappy band and stupid decorations. You're just saying that because prom's a week away and you don't have a date. No, no, no. I don't want a date. Finch is goin' stag and... so am I. God, he's like so... refined. - You think that older woman thing is true? Yeah, it's true. It was Stifler's mom.
American Pie
8.9s
Victoria, I love you. I love you.
American Pie
3.6s
- I wanna have sex. - Now?
American Pie
3.9s
- Okay. - All right.
American Pie
8.8s
I got some scotch. - Single malt? - Aged 18 years. The way I like it.
American Pie
1m6s
- # Calling your name # - Uh... - # Calling # - Oh. # Your name ## Jim? - Oh! Oh, no. - Oh, no. - Oh. Ohh! - Liftoff aborted. Houston, we have a problem. What happened? What did he do He blew it. I guess I'll be going now. No, no, no, I'm... I'm not done, Nadia. I've, uh... I've got reserves. Nadia, please, please. I'm begging you. Well, I do like your dirty magazines. You do? Okay. Well. Um. Did-Did... Did you see this one? This here is your... is your more, uh, exotic, risque magazine. - He's pullin' out the porn. - He's desperate. Jim, just wait till she leaves. Very arousing women. They arouse me... They arouse me very, very much. But, uh... But not as arousing as you. - Oh, Jim! - Oh, God!
American Pie
17.7s
Next year with you going to Ann Arbor... and me going to Ithaca, it's not gonna work, is it? No. Don't say that. I mean, we could make it work. - It'll be perfect. - No, Kevin.
American Pie
7.6s
Oh! I almost forgot. I, uh, I bought some magazines. Do you just want to flip to the center section?
American Pie
9.5s
All right. Listen, thanks for understanding. Yeah. So, uh, I guess I'll see you later?
American Pie
2.8s
It's your turn.
American Pie
3.4s
What's wrong?
American Pie
32.8s
Ow! Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. I don't want you coming so damn early this time. What makes you think that I would come early? Come on. I saw you on the 'Net. Why do you think I accepted this date? You're a sure thing. Yes, I am. So I said, "This is very obviously a Piero della Francesca."
American Pie
22.8s
Vicky, think it's time to take the next step in our relationship? - Tonight? - Yeah, it's such a perfect evening. I mean, it's how you've always pictured it, isn't it? Damn, my parts fuckin' stink! Dude, you gotta take a shit! You smell like a Yeti! Or not. Just relax.