Found 1021 results
1m10s
[MUSIC STOPS] You're still using my Velcro labels. Aw. They do stick better than tape. Hi, Wade! Please don't. Say whatever it is you're here to say. Make it quick. Right. Quick. It's the kid. Just like you, I let him down. And just like me, he's never had anyone sacrifice anything for him... because the whole world wrote him off as a piece of shit a long time ago. Look, he's teamed up with the Juggernaut! [GASPS] The Juggernaut! Who's, like, my favorite Marvel character ever... And hi, Yukio! That was really nice of you to say hi... so I'm saying hi back. You guys make a super cute couple. Yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah. You should never meet your heroes... because, honestly, he's a bit of a dick! And like a lot of dicks, he's hard as a rock... and causes nothing but problems! Look, you can stop the Juggernaut. I know you can. Do you know what would happen to me if I helped you? I would be disgraced. You are a criminal, a fugitive. But worst of all... you broke my heart, Wade. Then you know what? Your heart's in the wrong place, big guy. Doing the right thing is sometimes messy... and fucked up, and not particularly convenient! So stay here in Chateau de Virgin... while we go get our fuck on!
Deadpool 2
31.2s
What the fuck? You'd think the studio would throw us a bone. One that doesn't end up in my mouth. The first movie made more money than the guy who invented pants. They can't just dust off one of the famous X-Men? How 'bout that putz with the giant pigeon wings? What do those do anyway, huh? Carry him three feet off the ground to snatch up the nearest muffin crumb? [DOORS CLOSE] No, no, no! I am not X-Man material at all. First off... [BREATHES DEEPLY] I'm not even a virgin. Second and more... [GROANS]
Deadpool 2
1m11s
MAN: I'mma tell you what the big lie is. [ESCAPEPLAYING ON RADIO] Toilet paper. What's so bad about toilet paper? Gets the job done. Does it really get the job done? All right. Say you wake up tomorrow morning... and, hypothetically, find some fresh shit on your face. Your cheek, maybe a little bit in the beard. What the hell? I'm about to be fucking sick! What do you do? Do you go to a bathroom and tear off a piece of dry tissue... and rub it around on your beard a little bit and then go on, get on with your day? Go to church, maybe dinner and a movie, like nothing happened? Where is this coming from, man? But something did happen. Your face smells like shit. Right? So what you would do, is you would get some soap, you'd get some hot water... and you would scrub the fucking shit out of your beard for 10 straight minutes. You could not scrub it enough. Are you trying to make me feel disgusting? I'm starting to feel... Toilet paper is a pretty fine appetizer. But, then... Huggies Natural Care wet wipes. That's your main course. They're soft, they're moist. They're for babies. Finally, one more pass with toilet paper, maybe clear out that excess moisture. Maybe treat yourself to a blow and go, if you can get you a hair dryer. Just about 30 seconds would do you good.
Deadpool 2
22.2s
Wade, Yukio. Yukio, Wade. What in the fuck knuckles is this? She's my girlfriend, you intolerant shit. Whoa! Pump the hate brakes, Fox & Friends. I'm just surprised anyone would date you. Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. I like this guy. Give him a chance. It's great seeing you like this. [LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] Yeah.
Deadpool 2