Found 1530 results
1m23s
And one time at band camp, we weren't supposed to have pillow fights, but we had a pillow fight, and it was so much fun. A- And this one time, we all lost our music and we were supposed to play this song, but we didn't know it, so we just made it up and we kept playing and playing, and the conductor didn't know what we were doing, and it was so funny. So, you're pissed about somethin', huh. You know what I do when I'm angry? I just play some Bach on my flute. It's so relaxing. - I learned to do that at band camp. - Hold on, uh... You have no idea why I'm angry? Is it because we have a test tomorrow? Sometimes I get cranky... - when I know I have a big test to study for. - Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it. - I thought so... - because this one time at band camp... - W-What's your name? - Michelle. - O-Okay. Michelle, um... Do you want to be my date for the prom? Really? You seriously want to go with me? Yes. Seriously. Are we going to Steve Stifler's party afterwards? Because that would be so cool. - Sure, whatever you want. - Cool! We're gonna have such a good time. It'll be like this one time at band camp when we all had a campfire...
American Pie
1m1s
Dude, it's not like I haven't been trying to get laid. Think about when you work out, Oz. You gotta have someone there, right? Someone to spot you. Someone to keep you motivated. Well, that's exactly what we can do for each other. I mean, we'll be there to keep each other on track. Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together, we are the masters of our sexual destiny. Their tiger-style kung fu is strong. But our dragon-style will defeat it. - Guys! - The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite! - Fight, and find out who is number one. - Guys! Come on. You're ruining my moment here. This is our very manhood at stake. We must make a stand, here and now. No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be. This is our day. This is our time. And, by God, we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into celibacy. - Amen. Yes. - I like that. - We will make a stand. We will succeed. - 'Bout time! - We will get laid! - Yeah! - Yeah!
American Pie
1m13s
Hey, uh, where's Finch? Oh, he went home to take a shit. I don't get it. I just don't. How does a guy like that get this sudden reputation? - What reputation? - Observe. Ex-Excuse me. Do you know who Paul Finch is? Yeah! He's the guy with the tattoo, right? - You know, the eagle and the blazing fire and that stuff. Well, um, if you guys see him later, will you tell him Courtney says hi? Bye. Okay. Explain. I can't. I don't know how he's doing it. I, uh... I guess that just leaves Jim trailing. - Aw, Jimbo! - Better sack up, buddy! Yeah, I know. I'm working on it, all right? James? You are very good in the world history class, yes? Me? Y-Yes. No, uh... - Yes, I am. - Perhaps you could help me with my studies. Uh, yeah. Absolutely. Tha-Tha-Tha... That would be... That would be great sometime. - How about tomorrow? - Well, I have ballet practice. Perhaps I could come by your house afterwards? I could change clothes at your place.
American Pie
48.2s
Ha-ha, nice! - Jesus! Stifler, how much did you drink, man? Hey, Stifler? How's the pale ale? - Fuck you! - Ooh, whoo! - That's Stifler's mom? - Yup. Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman like this produced a guy like Stifler. - Dude, that chick's a "MILF." - What the hell is that? - M-I-L-F... Mom I'd like to fuck. - Yeah, dude! Oh-ho, yeah! - Yeah! MILF! MILF! - Hey, guys... Guys. Guys. - Come here. - Sherman, what's goin' on? Yeah, uh... Don't you think you fellas could try a little tact? I got company, if you know what I mean?
American Pie
27.8s
Stifler's mom got it in the divorce. That reminds me of this one time... Hey, can I ask you a question? How come you don't have any stories? I've got lots of them, and you don't have any. Oh, I've got stories. Believe me. They're just, uh... They're just a little more risque than tales of band camp. Are they gross or something? Like guy stuff? Tell me! Okay. You want a story? Here's a story. Stifler finds this beer...
American Pie
25.2s
So what are you gonna major in? State's got a good business school, and I could probably walk-on to the lacrosse team. Well, you've probably got it pretty figured out, then, huh? I mean, business is okay, and lacrosse is awesome, but... what am I gonna be, a professional lacrosse player? I really have no idea. Thank God. I thought I was the only one. Well, you're not.
American Pie