- These are, uh... - Let me just clarify... - that you have no chance of scoring with me, Finch. - Of course not! So I take it you and Sherman are pretty close, huh? You met at that party a while back, right? Yeah, we were up all night together. We had one of those amazingly deep conversations... where you feel like you really get to know someone. Deep conversation, huh? Is that what you call it? What else would I call it?
American Pie
10.5s
- Where's your little date tonight? - No date. It was... It was a bathroom incident. - Pardon me? - Never mind.
American Pie
33.4s
You want a beer? - Oh, there we go. - Come on, move! Steve! It's my computer! And I wanna use it! Shut up! Oh, you need to... You need to change, right? - Uhh, do you mind? - No. N-No, not at all. Uh, please, you know. Just go ahead and get un... get changed. I'll, uh... I'll go downstairs and start studying up. - Yeah. - Okay. - Oh... - All right, there he goes. Now, we're in business. Now, we're in business.
American Pie
22.8s
No offense, but you're talking about a post-high school, long-distance relationship. And you and Kevin haven't even done it yet. That's not why we're going out. What do you expect him to drive to Cornell for? Milk and cookies? We're gonna have sex when he's ready and I'm ready. It's got to be completely perfect. I want the right time, the right moment, the right place... Vicky, it's not a space shuttle launch. It's sex.
American Pie
17s
"Dear Miss Latham: We're sorry but after keeping you on the waiting list... for the past couple of months, we've decided that you are now rejected." Shut up! - You got in. - Yes! I love you! Okay.
American Pie
19.4s
Come on, Vicky, it's Stifler's party. We got to go. It'll be great. Why? All that happens at Stifler's parties is people get drunk and do it. Yeah. Now, come on, Kevin. Open it. It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky. You got in. If you think so, just open it. Fine.
American Pie
1m9s
Ohh, you're so good. Ohh, yes. I am the best, baby. - Oh, yeah! - Oh. Oh, that was a tit. That is a tit! Yes! Oh, you're so big! Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right, baby. - Oh, doggie wants to hide his bone. - Yes! Oh, yeah! I'm bone smugglin', baby. Man, would you shut up! Hey, Jimmy. Just wanted to say sweet dreams. Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom. Kiss good night. - Something wrong with the reception? - Uh, yeah. Yeah. - There's... There's this nature show that I'm trying to watch. - Take it off. - And the birds are all scrambled and I can't even... - Do me! Yes! Baby! Ride me like a pony! - The thing must be broken or I sat on the remote or something. - Getting ready for bed, son? - Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set. - Yeah? - No! No, I think he's tried to watch some illegal channels. - Illegal... Illegal channels? - This is just bad reception, honey. - Oh, spank my hairy ass! - What's that? - Ooh, baby! - You know what? Here. Just give me this, please... - Oh, my God! - And let's get this... Okay, okay. Let's, uh... What the hell's the matter with this thing? Yes! Yes!
American Pie
46.3s
Laid-back Jim... or... Cool, hip Jim? I don't think it really matters with that shirt you're wearing. What? Correct me if I'm wrong but you're the one with the girlfriend... and you're still stranded on third base. Hey, at least I know what third base feels like, okay? - You're still just a batboy. - Batboy. Batboy. What are you talking about? Guys, uh... What exactly does third base feel like? You wanna take this one? - Like warm apple pie. - Yeah? - Yeah. Apple pie, huh? McDonald's or homemade? Gentlemen, destiny awaits.
American Pie
53.2s
- Finch. - Here's the man we are looking for. - Gentlemen. - What's goin' on, buddy? - Gentlemen. - What's goin' on, buddy? - Same ol'... - Finch. You got the Latin homework? Oh. It means, "My dog ate it." It's Latin. It's a joke. - It's a Latin joke. - Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee. - No, Jim, it's mochaccino. - What? What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino. It's not coffee. 'Nova! What's up, dude? You comin' to the party tonight, Ozzie, you fuckface? Uh, depends if my date wants to stop by. - I'm workin' on somethin' new. - I got an idea about something new. How about you guys actually locate your dicks, remove the shrink-wrap and fucking use them! Dude, it's gonna happen. She's a college chick. Oh, right. I'll see you guys tonight. I'll look for you in the no-fucking section.
American Pie
14.1s
- I wish you wouldn't do that. - So, you got something up your sleeve for tonight? This is a foolproof plan, my friend. I have a serious question to ask you guys. Okay. You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian chick? She might be there tonight. Now, do you think she would prefer...
American Pie
6.4s
All right. I'm shooting for a 9:00 E.T.A. beer in hand by five after. Breath check.
American Pie
1.2s
Party!
American Pie
31.8s
Hey, you think I should wear this shirt to Stifler's party? You've worn that shirt for, like, three days in a row, man! Guys. She said it. - Said what? - She said she loves me. - Holy shit, dude! The "L" word? - Oh, man! Cornell's not that far from "U" of "M." Yeah, it's only, like, seven hours. Oh, and you get to drive across Canada. - Beautiful country. - Whatever. It's doable. Wh-What we should do today, in band. Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards. - That'll be so funny! - Yeah.
American Pie
18.8s
Illegal channels? Shit! If there's any channel that should be illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel. - Lifetime supply of pantyhose or some shit. - Yeah. Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid on TV the other night? - No. - Ariel, man. She's so hot! - She's a mermaid, dude. - Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
American Pie
3.4s
Thank you.
American Pie
12.4s
- You called me Oz. - Well, yeah. It's what your friends call you. I mean, I feel like I'm one of your friends now. And... your girlfriend?
American Pie
9.5s
All right. Listen, thanks for understanding. Yeah. So, uh, I guess I'll see you later?
American Pie
8.8s
I got some scotch. - Single malt? - Aged 18 years. The way I like it.