Hey, you think I should wear this shirt to Stifler's party? You've worn that shirt for, like, three days in a row, man! Guys. She said it. - Said what? - She said she loves me. - Holy shit, dude! The "L" word? - Oh, man! Cornell's not that far from "U" of "M." Yeah, it's only, like, seven hours. Oh, and you get to drive across Canada. - Beautiful country. - Whatever. It's doable. Wh-What we should do today, in band. Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards. - That'll be so funny! - Yeah.
American Pie
29.6s
Now, the sex: It's got to be valid, consensual sex. - No prostitutes. That's what you're thinkin', Finch. Busted. So, basically, prom is our last chance. - Oh, dude. Prom sucks. - I know, but you gotta think about it this way. I mean, all the parties afterwards? The chicks are going to want to do it. - Yeah-yeah, he's right. It's, like tradition or something. - The Rose Bowl. - So, that gives us... - Exactly three weeks to the day.
American Pie
54.2s
# At last # # My love # # Has come along # # My lonely days # - # Are over # - That's great! # And life is like a song # # Oh, yeah, yeah # # At last # See ya later. # The stars above ## We're here for the party. What party? There's no party.
American Pie
1m9s
Ohh, you're so good. Ohh, yes. I am the best, baby. - Oh, yeah! - Oh. Oh, that was a tit. That is a tit! Yes! Oh, you're so big! Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right, baby. - Oh, doggie wants to hide his bone. - Yes! Oh, yeah! I'm bone smugglin', baby. Man, would you shut up! Hey, Jimmy. Just wanted to say sweet dreams. Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom. Kiss good night. - Something wrong with the reception? - Uh, yeah. Yeah. - There's... There's this nature show that I'm trying to watch. - Take it off. - And the birds are all scrambled and I can't even... - Do me! Yes! Baby! Ride me like a pony! - The thing must be broken or I sat on the remote or something. - Getting ready for bed, son? - Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set. - Yeah? - No! No, I think he's tried to watch some illegal channels. - Illegal... Illegal channels? - This is just bad reception, honey. - Oh, spank my hairy ass! - What's that? - Ooh, baby! - You know what? Here. Just give me this, please... - Oh, my God! - And let's get this... Okay, okay. Let's, uh... What the hell's the matter with this thing? Yes! Yes!
American Pie
22.8s
No offense, but you're talking about a post-high school, long-distance relationship. And you and Kevin haven't even done it yet. That's not why we're going out. What do you expect him to drive to Cornell for? Milk and cookies? We're gonna have sex when he's ready and I'm ready. It's got to be completely perfect. I want the right time, the right moment, the right place... Vicky, it's not a space shuttle launch. It's sex.
American Pie
18.8s
Illegal channels? Shit! If there's any channel that should be illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel. - Lifetime supply of pantyhose or some shit. - Yeah. Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid on TV the other night? - No. - Ariel, man. She's so hot! - She's a mermaid, dude. - Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
American Pie
10.2s
Yeah, I could do that. Sure. Sure. Kev? Kev? Ke...
American Pie
2.9s
Yeah. Yeah.
American Pie
53.2s
- Finch. - Here's the man we are looking for. - Gentlemen. - What's goin' on, buddy? - Gentlemen. - What's goin' on, buddy? - Same ol'... - Finch. You got the Latin homework? Oh. It means, "My dog ate it." It's Latin. It's a joke. - It's a Latin joke. - Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee. - No, Jim, it's mochaccino. - What? What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino. It's not coffee. 'Nova! What's up, dude? You comin' to the party tonight, Ozzie, you fuckface? Uh, depends if my date wants to stop by. - I'm workin' on somethin' new. - I got an idea about something new. How about you guys actually locate your dicks, remove the shrink-wrap and fucking use them! Dude, it's gonna happen. She's a college chick. Oh, right. I'll see you guys tonight. I'll look for you in the no-fucking section.
American Pie
14.1s
- I wish you wouldn't do that. - So, you got something up your sleeve for tonight? This is a foolproof plan, my friend. I have a serious question to ask you guys. Okay. You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian chick? She might be there tonight. Now, do you think she would prefer...
American Pie
18.4s
- Another party sultan! - How ya doin'? Welcome to Stifler's Palace of Love, fellas. - The keg's back there! Enjoy! - Yeah. Vicky, Jessica! Great to see you. Glad you could make it. Haha, bitches! - Sherman! - Hey! What the fuck are you doin' here?
American Pie
21.3s
- # It's been one week since you looked at me # # Cocked your head to the side and said, I'm angry # That's number five and six for the Stif-meister! Yeah. Oops! - Holy! - H-Hey! Nadia! Buenos d�as. Glad you could make it. I'll be back for you later.
American Pie
19.4s
Come on, Vicky, it's Stifler's party. We got to go. It'll be great. Why? All that happens at Stifler's parties is people get drunk and do it. Yeah. Now, come on, Kevin. Open it. It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky. You got in. If you think so, just open it. Fine.
American Pie
13.6s
- Hopeless. - Completely. - Hi. - Hey, Vic. Oh, shit. Guys... Guys... There's Nadia and she just looked at me. - She just looked at me. - Well, why don't you go talk to her?
American Pie
5.2s
Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Kev. I should just go talk to her.
American Pie
1.2s
Party!
American Pie
2.4s
Oz, I know.
American Pie
1m29s
Hey, what are you doin' here? Just enjoying my first exhilarating lacrosse experience. - You kicked butt. - Oh, thanks. - Um, Chris... - Oh, you can call me Oz, if you want. - Do I have to? - You can call me Ostreicher. - What's your middle name? - Nah, forget it. - Come on. I won't tell anyone. - Well, neither will I. Okay. Um. So, I had this thought and... It may seem like it's way out of left field. I don't know if you can, but since I'm not going with anybody, I thought that maybe... Those guys sucked ass! Choir chick, what the hell are you doing here? Well, uh, I was asking Chris to prom. So, do you want to go? Oh, yeah! That would be great. Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo! Stifler, fuck! I mean... Why do you got to be so insensitive all the time? What? Whatever. Look, uh, don't forget. My cottage after prom. On Lake Michigan. Hey, wait up, you pussies. Where you goin'? Ah, well, I gotta... I gotta hit the showers now, but I think this is gonna be really, really good. - Yeah. Me too. - All right. - Bye. - Bye. Bye.