Jemaine Clement Comedy Clear all

Found 1048 results

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Stu is great.

What We Do in the Shadows

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My God, that's him, that's him, that's him, that's Phillip, that's Phillip. - He looks so old.

What We Do in the Shadows

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That's me. There's cameras following me around. They could have chosen anyone. How many people have you told you're are a vampire? - Not many. - I heard that girl... ... talking about it you said you're a vampire! Yeah, I told her. - Who else? - Who did you tell? Uh, I told her hot friend. You can't tell everyone that you're a vampire. Who's that guy? I don't know but I trust him. - You can't tell everyone. - I won't.

What We Do in the Shadows

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Yeah, kind of like Google Maps, but like, more...more layers of information. The movie Twilight, have you seen it?

What We Do in the Shadows

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There he is, yeah. This is my old servant, Phillip. - So, we're gonna call him. - Yeah. And... ...screen...

What We Do in the Shadows

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Okay, I'm the main guy in Twilight. You now the main guy? Twilight?

What We Do in the Shadows

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I don't think she's a virgin if she's doing that.

What We Do in the Shadows

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Yeah, I've got a bit of an eye condition.

What We Do in the Shadows

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Yes.

What We Do in the Shadows

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I don't... it's just... I hate... I'll say it. I'm over being a vampire. It's shit.

What We Do in the Shadows

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Alright. You're eating worms.

What We Do in the Shadows

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So, don't, don't believe the hype.

What We Do in the Shadows

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Oh no. I wouldn't eat that.

What We Do in the Shadows

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- Deacon! - You okay man?

What We Do in the Shadows

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Alright?

What We Do in the Shadows

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Why?

What We Do in the Shadows

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Okay. See you tomorrow.

What We Do in the Shadows

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Perhaps another couple of years. Perhaps 10 years. Hmm? Like one big circle, just biting each others dicks. You know, they don't even wear shirts, they wear blouses. It's, it's just... ... a big homo-erotic dick biting club. And I'm stuck here, ironing their fucking frills. Also clean the bathroom, please. There's blood everywhere. It is gruesome.

What We Do in the Shadows