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31.4s

-I can't help your mom is a GILF. -[Matt] That's it. -[Jordan] Yeah, I said it. -[Matt] Stop. Look, man, I got a… a present for you. Can I give you a present? Wait right here. I'll be right back. I got somethin' for you. We've been makin' a list. We need onesies. And you need a lock. A toilet lock. You know, they can drown in the toilet. Look, I've been meaning to ask, wh-- How long… how long are you stayin'? -I wish I didn't have to go back-- -[Matt] I'm not talking to you, Mom. We've discussed that. But, Marion, I wasn't a hundred percent sure about you. Well, since you refuse to move back to Minnesota, I'll stay six months.

Fatherhood

29.2s

Uh… Breasts. Some men have breasts. I'm gonna let that go 'cause you're grieving. Listen, I love babies. You know, I have three of them myself. They're not babies anymore in the picture, but when they started, they were babies. And I'm tellin' ya, it's brutal. It'll wipe you out. She have solid poops yet? No. Nope. I'm, uh… I'm dealing with the creamy shit right now. Enjoy the creamy shit. It's a big jump. When you get to solid poops, it's not a picnic.

Fatherhood

15.1s

[Sister Kathleen] Here we have a rule that all girl students wear skirts. Rules? We don't need no stinkin' rules. That's what my dad says. Okay. Well, your daddy signed a paper when you were first accepted at this school, and he agreed to follow the rules.

Fatherhood

7.4s

-'Cause she was strong and smart. -[chuckles] You… you know, you remind me a lot of her.

Fatherhood

4.5s

[Matt] Okay, all right. Hey, hey, hey. It will come up. All right?

Fatherhood

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But I know… I know that she would be so proud of you, Matt.

Fatherhood

4.1s

I understand, and I'll… I'll think about it.

Fatherhood

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You told-- [laughs]

Fatherhood

1.1s

[door opens]

Fatherhood

10.8s

-I'm a joke, okay? Lis-- -Matt, you're not a joke. Maddy is doing great. She's moved up to the 60th percentile in weight and 70th in height. You can start feeding her when she's hungry.

Fatherhood

1.5s

I love you this much.

Fatherhood

1.2s

Cute baby, papi.

Fatherhood

1s

Hey.

Fatherhood

13.7s

-I'm just asking. Was it from birth or… -[Howard] Hey. You don't think there's an asshole above me? And above that asshole, another asshole. An asshole chain. It's an asshole chain. That's exactly what it is. -[knocks at door] -So-- Yeah?

Fatherhood

4.1s

Okay, I'm, um, um… I'm, um… I'm gonna go.

Fatherhood

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Here she is. [Maddy cooing]

Fatherhood

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What is that?

Fatherhood

8.4s

How is that the same? -[softly] I'm just trying-- -I promise you-- I'mma punch you in the face. Don't say nothin' else to me. -Wow-- -I told you I can't.

Fatherhood

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[Sister Kathleen] Here we have a rule that all girl students wear skirts. Rules? We don't need no stinkin' rules. That's what my dad says. Okay. Well, your daddy signed a paper when you were first accepted at this school, and he agreed to follow the rules.

-'Cause she was strong and smart. -[chuckles] You… you know, you remind me a lot of her.

[Matt] Okay, all right. Hey, hey, hey. It will come up. All right?

But I know… I know that she would be so proud of you, Matt.

I understand, and I'll… I'll think about it.

You told-- [laughs]

[door opens]

-I'm a joke, okay? Lis-- -Matt, you're not a joke. Maddy is doing great. She's moved up to the 60th percentile in weight and 70th in height. You can start feeding her when she's hungry.

I love you this much.

Cute baby, papi.

Hey.

-I'm just asking. Was it from birth or… -[Howard] Hey. You don't think there's an asshole above me? And above that asshole, another asshole. An asshole chain. It's an asshole chain. That's exactly what it is. -[knocks at door] -So-- Yeah?

Okay, I'm, um, um… I'm, um… I'm gonna go.

Here she is. [Maddy cooing]

What is that?

How is that the same? -[softly] I'm just trying-- -I promise you-- I'mma punch you in the face. Don't say nothin' else to me. -Wow-- -I told you I can't.