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26.1s

Look, Matt, um, now, I know you don't really wanna hear this, but, like, honestly, none of us thought you would've did the job you did. Hmm. [Jordan] We thought you didn't have a chance of taking care of this little girl by yourself. Honestly, you did a way better job than any of us thought you would do, man. You should be proud of yourself, man. You did that. -I mean, she ain't die, right? -[laughs]

Fatherhood

20s

Want me to take you? I can give you a ride. No, she needs to get to her little nap. You want a little nap? Oh God. Matthew, today was a good day for you as a parent. You keep all these little victories like you had today in a little box inside you. They'll be your most prized possessions.

Fatherhood

13.4s

You know, I've never seen, like, a… like, a person pass or anything. But, um, you know, I've seen a squirrel pass. It makes you wonder about the circle of life. But it's not really a circle. It's like a line. -'Cause there's a beginning and an end. -Hey, Oscar.

Fatherhood

2.2s

You're a good mom. [Matt chuckles]

Fatherhood

6.1s

You think you can do this, but you can't. Raisin' a child, that's a… that's a nonstop, all-day, all-night affair.

Fatherhood

2.2s

[Maddy continues crying]

Fatherhood

15.9s

Your father is tired. -That's not abuse. Yeah, that's not abuse. -Yep. That's borderline. [woman 1] My nipples are so cracked, I'm scared to even look at them. [woman 2 laughs] Is it weird that breastfeeding kind of turns me on a little bit? [woman 1] My husband wants sex.

Fatherhood

9.5s

Come on, Maddy. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Roller coaster. Come on, Maddy. Here it is. Goin' down this track.

Fatherhood

1.7s

[Maddy crying]

Fatherhood

1s

Good talk.

Fatherhood

26.9s

-[Jordan] Matt. -[Matt] Excuse me. -Excuse me. -Matt! Matt! Matt! Hey, hey, Matt! -What, man? -What's up? Where you goin'? What do you mean, where I'm goin'? Home! -Why are you leavin'? -Because I'm not havin' a good time. What? We got girls back there. We're taking shots, having a good-- I don't care about no girls, man. What makes you think I care about girls now? Man, I brought you out to have a good time. I don't want your version of a good time, Jordan. I don't want it. Okay, look. I get it. You haven't been out since Liz. -But it's-- -Shut the-- Hey, man.

Fatherhood

15.4s

[Matt] Here come Javier. That's daddy's new best friend. He brings us our formula, our diapers. He gives us everything we need so we don't have to talk to people again. If anybody else ring this bell, they die. You hear me? [in playful voice] I say, if anybody ring Daddy bell, they gonna die.

Fatherhood

10.1s

Okay, um, my oldest had colic for the first couple of months. -What's colic? -It's when babies cry for hours on end without any reason until you feel like your eyes are about to pop out.

Fatherhood

6.3s

[in singsong] We're never gonna see her again, are we? All we need is us. We don't need no one else.

Fatherhood

2.2s

[upbeat nostalgic music playing]

Fatherhood

3s

-Say bye. -Bye. Goodbye.

Fatherhood

1s

Don't do that.

Fatherhood

1.1s

Idiot.

Fatherhood

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Want me to take you? I can give you a ride. No, she needs to get to her little nap. You want a little nap? Oh God. Matthew, today was a good day for you as a parent. You keep all these little victories like you had today in a little box inside you. They'll be your most prized possessions.

You know, I've never seen, like, a… like, a person pass or anything. But, um, you know, I've seen a squirrel pass. It makes you wonder about the circle of life. But it's not really a circle. It's like a line. -'Cause there's a beginning and an end. -Hey, Oscar.

You're a good mom. [Matt chuckles]

You think you can do this, but you can't. Raisin' a child, that's a… that's a nonstop, all-day, all-night affair.

[Maddy continues crying]

Your father is tired. -That's not abuse. Yeah, that's not abuse. -Yep. That's borderline. [woman 1] My nipples are so cracked, I'm scared to even look at them. [woman 2 laughs] Is it weird that breastfeeding kind of turns me on a little bit? [woman 1] My husband wants sex.

Come on, Maddy. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Roller coaster. Come on, Maddy. Here it is. Goin' down this track.

[Maddy crying]

Good talk.

[Matt] Here come Javier. That's daddy's new best friend. He brings us our formula, our diapers. He gives us everything we need so we don't have to talk to people again. If anybody else ring this bell, they die. You hear me? [in playful voice] I say, if anybody ring Daddy bell, they gonna die.

Okay, um, my oldest had colic for the first couple of months. -What's colic? -It's when babies cry for hours on end without any reason until you feel like your eyes are about to pop out.

[in singsong] We're never gonna see her again, are we? All we need is us. We don't need no one else.

[upbeat nostalgic music playing]

-Say bye. -Bye. Goodbye.

Don't do that.

Idiot.