Oh, that reminds me. I can't play poker on Friday. Why not? I'm gonna see this occupational hypnotherapist with Anne. Dude, an occupational hypnotherapist? I know. Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help.
Office Space
39.8s
Excuse me. Excuse me, señor. May I speak to you, please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought a piña colada. And I said no salt, no salt... for the margarita, but it had salt on it. Lo siento mucho, señor. Pinche gringo. I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... I could shut this whole resort down. Sir? I'll take my traveller's cheques to a competing resort. I could write a letter to your board of tourism. I could have this place condemned. I could put, I could put strychnine in the guacamole. There was salt on the glass, big grains of salt.
Office Space
3.9s
Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. Peter Gibbons.
Office Space
46.8s
Yeah. Our high school guidance counsellor... used to ask us what you would do if you had a million dollars... didn't have to work... and whatever you'd say was supposed to be your career. So if you wanted to fix old cars... then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic. So what did you say? I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech. No. You're working at Initech... 'cause that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors... because no one would clean shit if they had a million dollars. You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in glorious mutual funds... and then take the other half to my friend Asadulah... who works in securities... Samir. Samir, you're missing the point. The point of the exercise is you're supposed to figure out... what you would want to do if... "PC load letter"? What the fuck does that mean?
Office Space
34s
No. Not again. L... Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days... I just kick this piece of shit out the window. You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed. Piece of shit. PEGG "Samir... "Na-Na... "Na-Naga..." - No. Thanks. - Unh-huh! Please. "Michael... Bolton"? That's me. Wow! Is that your real name? Yeah. Ahem.
Office Space
4.6s
Yeah. Uh... Bob is a consultant.
Office Space
1.6s
Bob Slydell.
Office Space
10.2s
Peter, what's gotten into you? First, you just sit there while Dr. Swanson dies... then you walk out and embarrass me in front of my friends... and don't blame this on hypnosis, either. That's total bull...
Office Space
10.9s
Oh, I'm sorry, man. Look, l... l... You know, I'm talkin' outta my ass. Forget it. Don't worry. It's all right. Just... I had a rough day. Tell me about it, man. Ohh...
Office Space
1.3s
Uhh.
Office Space
15.4s
Nothin', huh? I would relax. I would sit on my ass all day. I would do nothing. You don't need a million dollars to do nothin', man. Take a look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do shit.
Office Space
2.7s
Peter, you know, you always talk about this girl.
Office Space
25.7s
Doesn't that chick look like Anne? Yeah. A little bit. I... Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. You two still goin' out? Yeah. I guess. L... I don't know. Sometimes I get the feeling like she's cheating on me. Yeah. I get that feeling, too, man. What do you mean by that? I don't know, man. I just get that feeling lookin' at her, like... she's the type of chick that just...
Office Space
53s
Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well... does anyone ever say to you... "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays"? No. No, man. Shit, no, man. You'd get your ass kicked, sayin' something like that, man. Huh. We still goin' fishin' this weekend? Ah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday. I just know it. Well, you can get out of that easily. Yeah? How? Well... when a boss wants you to work on Saturday... he generally asks you at the end of the day, right? Yeah. So all you gotta do is avoid him... that's all right... I got it... on the last few hours on Friday... duck out early... turn off your answering machine... you should be home free, man. That's a really good idea. Fuckin' "A," man.
Office Space
10.1s
Ooh, I gotta wake my ass up... at six a. m. Every day this week... drag up to Las Golindas. I'm doin' the drywall up there at the new McDonald's.
Office Space
38.9s
Lawrence, what would you do if you had a million dollars? I'll tell you what I'd do, man. Two chicks at the same time, man. That's it? If you had a million dollars... you'd do two chicks at the same time? Damn straight. I've always wanted to do that, man. I think if I were a millionaire, I could hook that up, too... 'cause chicks dig dudes with money. Well, not all chicks. The type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do. Good point. What about you, now? What would you do? Besides two chicks at the same time? Well, yeah. Nothing.
Office Space
15s
So, you should ask yourself... with every decision you make... "Is this good for the company? "Am I helping with..." Is that the guy? Yeah. We're screwed. OK, then, um...
Office Space
6.6s
I'd like to go ahead and welcome, uh... a new member to our team here. This is, uh...