I forgot Uncle Ramon was deaf and I talked to him like a normal.
Dirty Grandpa
19.6s
I'm really sorry, but I can't marry her. You think that message should come from me? Okay... Uncle Ramon, can you tell Meredith that Jason's sorry, but that they can't get married? Oh, fuck!
Dirty Grandpa
10s
Hitting it won't work. If they caught it from the PA... Band? What the fuck? Nick, can you tell her something for me? Can you tell her that, uh...
Dirty Grandpa
15.9s
I think I've been listening to everybody else about what I should be doing with my life. My grandpa said something really interesting. All right, cut the mics. I'm going up. ...take that punch, that point forward, things get easier.
Dirty Grandpa
4.9s
That is not Martha's Vineyard. Jason!
Dirty Grandpa
12.8s
Back in the '80s, when Andre the Giant used to go to the Playboy Mansion, he'd stack five playmates on top of each other on a bed and fingerfuck them all. Five at a time. Because his hands were so big.
Dirty Grandpa
3.1s
I don't think he's gonna find anybody as good as me.
Dirty Grandpa
2s
It means "to liberate the oppressed."
Dirty Grandpa
1.9s
Motto of the Green Berets.
Dirty Grandpa
2.8s
- Hey. You ready? - Yep.
Dirty Grandpa
4.8s
- Oh, and, Jason... - Yeah?
Dirty Grandpa
1.5s
Thanks, Grandpa.
Dirty Grandpa
4.2s
So... that's it.
Dirty Grandpa
48.3s
It's actually the guy on the moped with the iPad. NSA stopped using utility vans years ago. I figured once you sent the camera back, it was time to take drastic measures. What'd he say? Are we doing this? Plan B, have Pam kidnap you. - I've got to get her back. - You want me to kidnap her? I'll bring her back to you in a box, bro. She's on a bus headed west on I-85 across Florida. Her boat leaves in four hours. It was easy to track her down because of the whole Middle Eastern thing. Bet you never thought you'd 69 a girl because of the Patriot Act. You 69 her, man! And then she's dead. Are you kidding me, Pam? This is what you drive? Oh, yeah, it is so easy selling kids drugs from an ice cream truck. It's crazy! - Jason! Jason! - Go, go, go, go! Jason, stop! Stop right now. Stop! Stop!
Dirty Grandpa
4s
You'd better marry that girl. Me? Nah, she's not really my type. Too skinny.
Dirty Grandpa
5.6s
- What do you want from me, Jason? - I want you to stay.
