Found 289 results

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7.2s
At this point, I'm kind of nervous that anybody I pick will have a disability. Okay... Waiter... Hey, Pubes.

Dirty Grandpa

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13.5s
I'm just saying, who sings that well and isn't a professional singer? You're so good at singing you actually suck! You guys want to come up for a nightcap? - Yeah, well... - See if shit gets real?

Dirty Grandpa

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3s
I was your last-ditch redemption project.

Dirty Grandpa

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5.5s
If you leave right now, you can kiss your job at the firm goodbye! David, will you get the fuck out of the way!

Dirty Grandpa

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17.1s
...and as a tribute to Meredith and Jason and the love that you guys share. A love I will never know because my dog died the first day I masturbated. So now I can't get hard unless... Okay. Also, we've got to stop ISIS. It's gotten... It's too much.

Dirty Grandpa

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4.3s
Congratulations, Grandpa. You thought you were a shitty father?

Dirty Grandpa

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10s
You know, I think this is our only way back now, so I'm gonna try to get these cocks off of my face and get that truck started.

Dirty Grandpa

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1.9s
What the hell is going on?

Dirty Grandpa

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13.7s
Grandpa... - Thank you for... - Don't give me any of that shit. Just let me know when you get back. And I actually want to see your photos in Time magazine. This camera set me back three months of my army pension!

Dirty Grandpa

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2.8s
'Sup, brah?

Dirty Grandpa

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1m25s
Hey, there he is. You got blood on your pants, you know. Your license isn't even suspended, is it? You made all this up just so I'd come down here with you. - I had to make sure you'd come. - Fuck you! Just chill, Jason. Hakuna matata. Who the fuck are you? I should have known you were fucking crazy the moment you started hitting on women the day after Grandma's funeral! Don't you fucking judge me. You have no idea what I had with your grandmother. And everything I've done these last few days I've done for a reason. You were about to fuck up royally by getting married, - and you fucking know it! - Oh, yeah? What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Chase around some college girl that doesn't even want to fucking talk to me? Not know what the fuck I'm doing for the rest of my life? Yeah, because at least you'd be thinking for yourself for a change. - What the fuck does that even mean? - Your father has lorded over every decision you've made in your adult life, and Meredith is just the latest example of that! She's not right for you, Jason. If you marry her, you're going to be sleepwalking through the rest of your life and be completely unhappy, - just like your father! - I am already unhappy with my life, because I've done nothing but get fucked by you and this insane fuck rampage that you've been on. It wasn't a "fuck rampage" for me. It was a "fuck rampage" for you. - How? How is this for me? - I fucked up as a father. I wasn't there to raise your dad and he turned into a materialistic, henpecked, poop-dick country clubber. - I don't want that to happen to you. - So that's what this was?

Dirty Grandpa

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7.6s
Oh, hey. Look, I'm... I'm sorry. I don't know if I can do this. I haven't done it for a long time.

Dirty Grandpa

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7.4s
- Nice dick. - Aw, jeez, Grandpa. That's a good dick. You got your grandpa's dick. Not the girth, not the length, but same style.

Dirty Grandpa

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3.2s
Tell him you're sorry you made fun of him for being gay.

Dirty Grandpa

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1.8s
Party till you're pregnant!

Dirty Grandpa

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2.5s
- Come on. - Oh, no. No.

Dirty Grandpa

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1.8s
See?

Dirty Grandpa

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17.9s
Don't touch that, it's from Laser Tag. Sorry. - They're good people. I swear. - Let me see that. Where are you going with these "good people"? We're heading out to the coast to, um, charter a boat for the year. - For the year? - Yeah. To do what? We're documenting the effects of climate change out on the ocean.

Dirty Grandpa