Found 289 results
22.1s
Look, I don't expect you to understand. You're young. You have a long, long time before you have to look into that abyss. But the way I see it, having sex with that girl is my last stand. And I can't do it without you. So I'm asking you. Please, Jason, just stay one more day so I can do this. Please.
Dirty Grandpa
1m7s
So you're a lawyer at your dad's firm now, is that right? That's right, and Meredith is too. You know, her dad is one of the managing partners there, so... - I know, that's... - Yeah. It couldn't have worked out better. Because it's just that I remember when you were in high school, you told me how much you wanted to be a photographer, travel the world. That sort of thing. You remember when I got you that subscription to Time magazine? Yeah, I used to be into photography, but, um... I mean, with Dad being at the firm, pfft, it just made so much more sense to focus on a college curriculum that stressed the law school track. I mean, I love what I do, Grandpa. Being a corporate lawyer is awesome, I get to handle SEC compliance... - No shit! - Yeah. Yeah. You handle SEC compliance? - LP agreements. - Oh, man, I didn't know that. - LLC agreements. - You're shitting me! Being a corporate lawyer, it's got its upsides. - You know what I'd rather do? - What? I'd rather let Queen Latifah shit in my mouth from a fucking hot air balloon. That's me. I'm gonna hit the liquor store over there, get some more of the creature. Meet you back at the Dildomobile in five. You're paying the check, Alan Douche-owitz.
Dirty Grandpa
21.8s
"This day I call the heavens and the earth as a witness against you..." "...that I have set before you life and death..." Hey, babe, I found the tie you're going to wear to the rehearsal brunch Sunday. Do you like the coral color or the salmon? "...that the race is not to the swift..." Either one. "...nor the battle to the strong."
Dirty Grandpa