Knock, knock. Who's there? It's the police, ma'am. Your son's been hit by a drunk driver. He's dead.
Joker
14.6s
Breaking news. Popular TV talk show host, Murray Franklin was shot dead tonight on the live telecast of his program. The man who was introduced by Franklin as "Joker" is currently under arrest. Police led the suspect handcuffed out of the studio.
Joker
16.6s
Oh, my God. I hated school as a kid. But my mother would always say, "You should enjoy it. One day, you'll have to work for a living." "No, I won't, Ma. I'm gonna be a comedian."
Joker
27.4s
I think... I think most women look at sex like buying a car. You know, like, "Can I see myself in this long-term?" "Is it safe?" "Is it reliable?" "Could it kill me?" Most guys, we look at sex like parking a car. We're like, "There's a spot." "There's another spot. That would work." "Oh, I have to pay? Never mind." "Handicapped? I hope no one sees this."
Joker
1.7s
Police! Signs down!
Joker
37.7s
I heard this song on the radio the other day, and the guy was singing that his name was Carnival. Arthur... Which is crazy, because that's my clown name at work. And until a little while ago, it was like nobody ever saw me. Even I didn't know if I really existed. Arthur, I have some bad news for you. You don't listen, do you?
Joker
17s
Both victims were taken to Gotham General. Sounds like the city needs to find the Pied Piper. He'll make a great mayor. Everybody says so. Oh, yeah. Everybody who? Who do you talk to? Well, everybody on the news. He's the only one who could save the city. He owes it to us.
Joker
21.6s
Thank you. We got a great-looking audience tonight. Yeah! Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So, everybody's heard about the super rats that - are in Gotham now, right? - Yeah. Well, today, the mayor said he has a solution. You ready for this? Super cats.
Joker
2.3s
Thank you.
Joker
2.1s
Who knows?
Joker
4.8s
And have you thought more about why you were locked up?
Joker
1.7s
I'm sorry.
Joker
1.8s
I'm sorry. I have a...
Joker
2.7s
Would you please stop bothering my kid?
Joker
3.5s
I just don't want to feel so bad anymore.
Joker
17.4s
Okay, we got a big show tonight. Stay tuned. We'll be right back. That was great, Arthur. Thank you. I mean, I loved hearing what you had to say. It made my day. Thanks, Murray. You see all this, the lights, the show, the audience, all that stuff? I'd give it all up in a heartbeat to have a kid like you.
Joker
12.2s
Arthur, Hoyt wants to see you in his office. Hey, Gary. You know what I've always wondered? No idea. Do you people call it miniature golf or is it just golf to you?
